Thursday, December 9, 2010

Dating story #20, you are entering the Fling Zone.

You have now entered the Fling Zone.

[do-do-doo-doooo do-do-doo-doooo]

The Dilemma:

I much prefer REAL dating to PEOPLE SHOPPING.

With REAL dating, I know instantly if I have physical attraction and chemistry with someone.  Of course, I don't get the luxury of the pre-screen [age, profession etc] but it's still optimal.  
However, it rarely results in an ACTUAL DATE.  It's more the launching pad for some fling-o-rama.  
Am I complaining?
(am I?  I can't decide.)
The coin has a few different sides.  

Which brings us to People Shopping.

I get to examine guys by almost every detail- height, weight (visually of course), profession, religion.  Then, I can see what they've written about themselves. Is it generic? (there goes 50% of the guys!) Is it witty?  (adios to another 20%)  And that leaves us with a small pool of potentials.  The communication back and forth begins, rarely ever verbal, I might add.
Then, once that's been going on long enough we will agree to meet up.  
And I will know the minute--NO--second I see them, whether I even want to stay.  But at least I'm on a DATE, right?  
Then again, was it really worth any of the time/effort put into it previously if it's all over (in my mind) in 1.5 seconds?

This is what I pondered after Tuesday night.  Tuesday night was another band gig and also my pseudo-bday party. [Real bday is next week. UGH].  I made the gig double as a bday party to a) not have to plan anything else and b) a shameless ploy to guilt friends into coming to watch us again.  It was, as always, a fun night.  I was so excited to wear the choker I got at a recent YSL sample sale. Alas, my friend JP saw it and exlaimed "Oooh! vampire repellent!!!"
Sookie: This could help.

I was also looking forward to the gig because I boldly decided to send Drummer Boy a breezy note on FB about the gig deets in case he wanted to drop by. I really didn't expect to even hear back from him, but lo and behold, he wrote that he had an early holiday party but would head over after and try to catch our set.  Ooh la la! Better shave my legs!
So, we played our set.  All went well, but no boy sightings.  I decided it was probably for the best as I could use an early night.  And then- bing! Got a text from a random number asking if I was still out.  I knew it was him, but I didn't have his number yet, so I played it cool with a "who is this?" response.  God, HOW old am I?  Sometimes you just get sucked into the game, huh?  Anyway, I told him we were still at the bar and to come over.  At precisely the same moment, all my friends [namely BFWB] decided to take the party elsewhere.  Thankfully, a few drunken stragglers stayed behind with me so I didn't look like a moron when Drummer Boy showed up. 
Once he did, I soon realized, it would not have mattered.  
'Cause that was one druunky-drunk Drummer Boy.  And, apparently he hadn't shaved since I saw him last week.  This must've been why BFWB txted me to ask if I was "hanging out with the terrorist" he passed on his way out.  Hmm...he DID look a bit swarthy...  Anyway, it was after midnight, after many drinks and he was there to see ME.  A second time.  Yet, seeing as he could barely hang at the bar and clearly did not need another libation, I decided it was time for us to go.  Plus he seemed to respond very favorably when I mentioned the leftover gnocchi from FRANK in my fridge, so off to my apt we went.  He was definitely a little on the "slow" side that night, but I was pretty sure it was a drink-induced delay.  And he definitely seemed to perk up once food was devoured.  And then, the make out session started.  Now we enter a weird part of the FLING ZONE called the NO TONGUE ZONE.  
Okay, what's the problem, boys?  
Half the time, I'm pretty sure you are going to accidentally remove my tonsils with that thing.
The other half of the time, I'm wondering if you even HAVE a tongue at all?
Drummer boy falls into the latter category.
And, I decided it was time to do something about it. Right in the middle of it.
Me: "So, are you, like, anti-tongue?"
Him: "um...huh??"
Me: [sigh] "Are you not into, you know, "French kissing?"
Him: "Oh...why is that what you like?"
Me: "Well, yeah, a little bit is kinda nice now and then."

Well, Drummer boy took my notes and ran with them.  And let me tell you-- SHA-ZAMMM! Game changer.  And right before we fell asleep?
Him: "I really like that tongue thing. Thanks."

I don't even know what to think about this.  So I'm not going to.  I just hope you all learned something here.  That is all.

LESSON:  When you want something, just ask for it.  So simple, yet so SO effective.