Friday, December 17, 2010

Dating story #23, Happy Birthday to ME--Part Deux!

And....the week is finally OVER!!
Exhausting? OMG, yes.
Worth it? OMG YES!!


So my bestie KK and I have been friends since we met on the first day of college.  Our alphabetically similar Jewish last names had us sitting next to each other in a sea of 1,000 girls.  And we have been best friends ever since.  Ironically, we are both very tall [uncommon for Jews] and our birthdays are 1 day apart.  So we've been celebrating them together since the beginning. KK's is the day before mine [I like to remind people that she always has to be first!], and she was the lucky recipient of this abomination: 
I made the picture b&w for her because I thought it really "captured the moment," which may hinder you from seeing what you need to see.  This is Dolly.  She was given to bestie Jendel a few years ago as a joke [please do not ask why. The answer is simply that my friends are craaazy. Certifiable.]  When Jendel pulled Dolly out of a misleading upscale store bag at her bday dinner, we all laughed until we peed, at this disgustingly unbathed, botched haircut, bald spotted, lazy-eyed doll. And, someone got the idea to send her off to the rest of us on our bdays. I have been lucky enough to dodge the Dolly.  And when KK received her the day before me, I thought I was off the hook!  That bitch showed me...
Hello, Dolly!
Never have I been less excited to see a package show up for me. Ugh...now I'm stuck with her until February!! 
ponies in their natural habitat
And, it was a day of even more follies. I had written in our bday din email invite that we did not want any presents. Except that KK wants something small, like a pony.  Lo and behold, bestie Ray made that dream a reality. We are truly blessed to have such "special" friends! We had an amazeballs time at my new fave, Mary Queen of Scots [home of Candybar, if you'll recall]. All the hotties who work there were on last night and the flirtfest was on!  Candybar remembered me and was somewhat flirty, but then peaced out and didn't say goodbye. Whatevs.  We actually had an equally adorable server, The Brit, who didn't seem to mind our shenanigans. Pretty cute, huh?  He's not  super tall, but oooh that British accent is just sooooo
sexy! Maybe he has my number now too. And, maybe he texted me at 2:30a asking if I was still out playing and told me I should come over. [to Brooklyn!] Yeah, raincheck on that, mate. And besides, I was busy anyway. All day long yesterday, SoCal was blowing up my phone that he needed to give me a birthday kiss [undoubtedly still kicking himself for not kissing me goodnight on weds]. So I told him he was welcome to meet up with us at MQS after dinner.  He got there just after 12a, so technically bday was over, but I decided to give him a grace period. He chatted with a few of my friends, always a good test!  He seemed to survive that.  Then again, we all had several happy drinks in us so it was probably a good night to ease him into the insanity. This must've been the reason MIM and I were on fashion patrol. See pic I took of her as a ruse to really get a shot of Dumbo, the belt.   
Pls see elephant chain belt behind MIM. Thank you.
We left the bar around 1:30a and SoCal walked me home. He, too, pulled the "I need the bathroom" move, but in this case I really believed him! Also, he put so much pressure on this damn "bday kiss," I think he needed to be in a comfortable environment, as opposed to 25 degrees near a homeless person outside of my apt.  So we went upstairs and had a glass of wine.  He finally said "Ok, it's 11:59." I was like "No, it's 1:48a?" But then I realized he was trying to say it was one minute until my bday was over. He then said "We need to get you that birthday kiss." Yeah, OK SoCal, I get it. This ain't my first rodeo. Lay-it-on-me! So much build-up, GEEZ! I practically had to guide him in like they do to airplanes.  Not awky at all!  And, sadly, once again, not the best kisser either. Waah.
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE???
I think I can work with this though, and it's obviously worth it since I see some potential in him.  But there was a very strange "lizzard-tongue" type of thing happening, and I was NOT a fan.  Sigh... He then wanted to spoon on my couch, which is a lovely idea, although hardly feasible as I purposely bought a couch that was long but narrow as possible to make my NYC shoebox look bigger.  But he insisted. And then, he passed the F out. COLD.  So, I decided this would be a good time to do some light cleaning in my apt, eat some snacks, wash my face, and continue texting The Brit.  Then, around 3am-- I get a text from Teca wishing me a happy birthday!! I was floored by this.  I don't know how he knew, but I think it was cool he did that.  Although 3am? Damn service industry with their crazy vampire hours.  Not that I don't keep those myself. But it's not my JOB to either. Anyway, I totally miss Teca. I try not to think about him. I know he was just a fling, but he was a HOT fling. And it was fun, comfortable and just plain easy,never awky. Also, AMAAAZING kisser. Uggh. I really want him to:
-break up with dirty girl, STAT. 
-Then, bathe in Clorox. 
-Then, call me.


So at around 3:15a when SoCal was most likely already in Stage 3 of sleep, I tried to wake him up.  I was going to bed and felt bad leaving him on the couch. I tried to softly shake him and say his name. DEADNESS. Finally, I gave up and just yelled "HEY!!" which eventually roused him from his coma.  I told him I was going to bed and he could sleep there [JUST sleep] if he wanted to.  He was so groggy and confused, he almost chose the couch (dumb!) and then finally agreed to the bed, as long as he could leave his jeans on.  Honestly, it just gets weirder and weirder every day. So, jeans-on SoCal and I had a nice spoonable slumber until he split around 7am. It was a tad bit awky in the am, but I guess it always is when you don't really know someone yet. Once again, it was not my intention to slumber party [again], but how can I send someone who's just come out of a coma home at 3:30am?


I swear, I REALLY REALLY am trying to play by the rules here. As in actual dates, not just meet-ups. Kissing goodnight at the door, not having slumber parties so soon. Why is this SO hard?  
Speaking of hard, I can barely see out of my exhausted eyeballs. I'm off to have an intimate affair with my narrow-ass couch. Happy weekend-ing, pretties!


Lesson: I'm too tired and brain fried right now and really haven't figured this one out yet. So if you have one for me, feel free to weigh in!