Sunday, February 27, 2011

Dating story #43, Nice Guys Finish Last & Dumb Just Got DumbER.

Well, well, well...quite the interesting weekend!


We left off with me preparing to go on my 2nd Match date with GoodGuy.  We had met for drinks a week ago, had good conversation and he asked me out on that date for this one, which I thought was a) mature and b) classy.  In fact, isn't that kind of what guys are, like, supposed to do?  Clearly I wouldn't know the answer to that, based on the "winners" I've been picking lately.
I digress.
GoodGuy and I had been talking about our mutual love for sushi and he mentioned his favorite sushi in the city is BondSt.  I said, unbelievably, it's the one place I've never dined.  So, he promptly asked me to dinner there this past Friday night, upon his return from a business trip. I was SUPER excited for dinner. And...that's about it. I really tried to keep an open mind, but my gut is usually right. And in this instance, my gut was thinking "sushi!!!" when it should have been thinking "GoodGuy!!!" Oopsie.
But, I had to prevail! At least I knew GoodGuy would be just that-- a nice, non a-holey dude and spending a dinner with him would certainly not be the worst thing in the world.  And I was right.  First thought upon meeting him at Bond St-- not as cute as I remembered and, slightly femme? Sigh. But, very smart and never a lag in conversation. Except for when my taste buds came into contact with my Big Eye Tuna Tarts with creamy ponzu and white truffle oil.
OH DEAR MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS RIGHT AND HOLY IN THE WORLD!
Yeah. I had to take a moment of silence for that appetizer.  And, for the relationship that would never be with GoodGuy. However, that dinner had to be well over $250 and I felt compelled to at least hang out and have/buy GoodGuy one more drink at a nearby lounge.  He even managed to sneak in a little kiss or two. YIKES.  I know I need to re-jigger my brain, but I almost felt compelled to let him simply because he's a) SO freakin' nice and b) that was one of the best meals of LIFE. 
So I bid GoodGuy adieu and went back to my apt where I was met by BFWB and, later, The Chef. It's kind of like being with loud, blonde-hair, blue-eyed, pale-skinned tall twins.  But we had a great time.  And, of course, the moment BFWB left I promptly passed out on The Chef. He has GOT to be getting sick of this by now!  I really just think he likes not having to travel home to Queens or outer Cambodia or wherever he lives after a late night at the restaurant and I also happen to have the most amazingly comfortable bed that ever existed. Seriously, if you haven't tried a ComforPedic, GET ON IT.


And, now on to SoCal. Or...
Yes, that's right.  He would be the "dumb just got dumbER" portion. 
So if you recall from my last post, I had invited SoCal to Monday's Supperclub dinner party but he was busy, however immediately invited [or so I thought] me to see a band play at Bowery Ballroom Sat night.  And obvs I didn't hear from him all week, although he did "like" one of my FB posts {oh, swoon!}. Ugh.
Saturday I met up with bestie Rayza for a lovely brunch and catch-up sesh at the charming Cafe Gitanea fave in my 'hood. I expressed to her my annoyance with not hearing from it yet about our plans for the night but also that he had never flaked before.  She agreed with BFWB that I should just sit tight, so I did and we had a lovely day together, catching up and making fun of the 200 people standing in line outside of DASH, the Kardashian's SoHo shlock shack.  Really, 200 people? What exactly do you think you're going to find in there-- Kim's badonkadonk? Kourtney's baby? Klohe's true genitalia revealed? Weirdos.
By 4pm with no txt from SoCal I was starting to get seriously pissed and Rayza realized her hubby had plans for the night so she further harassed me to forget SoCal and hang with her instead.  Also, I knew a friend's band was playing in Brookland and I kind of wanted to see that as well.  Finally, I decided to stop playing games and just get it over with, so I texted SoCal "hey, White Rabbits [the band] still happening tonight? Just trying to figure out my plans..."  
He promptly texted back "hey, do you have a ticket? I think it's a sellout."
ummmmmmmm.....WHATtheWHATwhatWHO???
Did I misread something here?
NO. I didn't. 
Homeskillet clearly invited me to this show, right? 
ME: "Oh...no. I guess I thought you did...?
HIM: "I forgot to and the show sold out. I think my cousin might have some, let me check."
What.
A.
Dumb.
Dummy.
Dumbass!
Obviously he was SO excited to hang out with me that he did such an amazing job of planning every detail. 
So we left it at that-- he was looking for tickets. By 7p I hadn't heard from him and decided I was over it anyway.  BFWB wanted to join me for the show in Brooklyn and it sounded great to me.  I moved on with my night and decided to have fun. And fun we did have at my friends, LIVING DAYS, show.  They're new wave-ish, sound kinda like The Cure with this crazy, amazing Cher/Gwen Stefani-esque lead singer with the lowest chick voice I've ever heard. 
So as we're there hanging out, I get a text from SoCal:
"My cousin got tix, u here?"
Um....WHAT [again]??? 
Why would I be there? Did you tell me you had a ticket for me? 
I seriously could not be more confused by the entire situation. And, DONE.
Except I may have accidentally drunk-texted him late last night asking how the show was as I drove home past the venue and saw tons of people streaming out. Dammit!  Don't worry, he's yet to respond.  
So, in the words of the ever-wise BFWB:
"SoCal? SoGONE."


BUT-
When the universe closes a door, it opens a window.
A bit o' back story is that at Monday night's amazing Supperclub, one of the people helping put the meal out was a funny, friendly guy we'll call Richie. We hadn't had many interactions but all of them were pretty funny as I recall. I also recall that he made a point of saying goodbye to us before he left, but I thought nothing of it.
Then, later in the week, he FB friended me.  I also thought nothing of this.  Funny enough, I got a text from my good friend, Blair, saying "um rando! How do you know Richie? We grew up together in Westchester!"  Damn, it's a small world!  What did we do before Facebook?  OH, we just stalked people the old-fashioned way. Like calling them and hanging up when they answered. Or, driving by their house and ducking.
So as I was sitting home early last night, fuming over SoCal's infinite idiocy, Richie started an IM chat with me on FB.  I must say, it was a seriously funny chat convo too!  It totally lifted my crankyness from earlier AND he asked me out to dinner! He is a total foodie and somehow involved in the food/wine/alcohol importing industry (I think?) Anyway, he's interesting. And, funny. AND, Jewish???  Whoa. I am not totally sure he is my "type" per se, but he can definitely make me laugh and that will get you miles beyond the others.  I also like that he is a real guy from the real world (as opposed to online) and that someone actually knows him and can vouch. 
[are you enjoying this, Blair??]
Hence, we will be dining out this coming Saturday night upon his return from a business trip. He actually tried to casually, spontaneously ask me to dinner last night as we were chatting, but I told him I have plans.  Plus, too easy!  I've got to change my evil ways. 
Starting....NOW.


Happy Monday, lovlies.  See you soon....

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Music: Rock & Rap

Welcome to MEDIA MONTH!!! We are going to start of with Music Week. This week we are going to examine all different types of music and how they relate to our relationship with God. :)

Today we are going to look at a few popular Rock and Rap songs and examine the lyrics and what the message being sent really is. I think we all struggle with understanding what we are actually supporting through the media. We tend to just agree with whatever is catchy or entertaining, but this is one of the devil’s tactics he uses to separate us from God.

This first song my roommate enlightened me on. It came out in the 90’s so some of you may or may not remember it. This song is also pretty deep about what it is saying, so I would recommend the 16+ crowd to check out this one, and the next ones are more for everyone.

Before last night, if I would have heard this song on the radio I probably would have turned it up and sang along with the chorus, thinking nothing other than, “gee, this was such a happy song.” But when my roommate showed me the lyrics, I was appalled. Check this out.

First verse:

“She says she lives for me.” [You should NEVER live for someone else. That leads to a path of destruction and depression.]

“She goes down on me.”

“chop another line..” [cocaine line]

Chorus:

“I want something else to get me through this.” [as in a drug]

Verse 2:

“I was taking sips of it to my nose” [snorting some kind of drug]

“Doing Crystal meth will lift you up until you break.”

“Then I bumped up and took the hit that I was given.”

“The place where I fell asleep inside of you.” [probably referring to sex.]

Verse 3:

There’s too much to type everything in the 3rd verse, but I think if you listen you read along with the video you discovered quite a few things.

“We tripped on the urge to feel alive, but now I’m struggling to survive.”

“Nothing is all right.”

When you receive the full context of the song it breaks your heart. This is a genuinely sad song about the misery a couple finds in living. They are searching for something to make them feel better like drugs or sex, but the last verse says nothing helps and nothing is alright. How heart-retching is that? And I always thought it was a happy song..In 1997 that song went to #4 in the U.S. billboards, #1 on the Modern Rock Tracks list, and was a top 40 hit in the U.K. [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Semi-Charmed_Life#Charts]

Now for a recent rap hit. “No Hands” by Waka Flocka Flame. I’m not going to say anything about it, just watch the video and ignore the catchy tune, just read the words and think about this.

DISCLAIMER: I am by NO means promoting this music or these lyrics. I am not encouraging cuss words or anything about this music. This is strictly for learning purposes and revealing how much we let the media influence us indirectly.

THIS IS WHAT WE ARE PUTTING IN OUR MIND EVERYDAY! Even if you don’t listen to it, the chances are you are around people who do. Think of this as the equivalent to reading a page with these lyrics in it. Add whatever other music you listen to and think about how many words you have put in your head in one day. If you made a book of these lyrics, I doubt you would sit down and read it.

My excuse was always that I was listening to it for the "beat." Even though we know that's a lie, if I did listen to it for the beat, the lyrics are still going into my head subconsciously. Think of the impact that is having on your thought life, your spiritual life, your actual life.

Come back tomorrow and we will take a closer look at Country music! :)

Friday, February 25, 2011

MANdate, Cold and Uninspired.

wow, my last post was a WEEK ago?
Generally, when this occurs, it's either because I'm busy or bored.
in this case, i'm busybored. BLAH.


Has stuff been going on? 
Yes.
Is any of it interesting to me?
No. 
Boring. 
Blah.


But I'll let you be the judge.  
I have definitely been busy all week, with my new roommie for a few days.
STELLAAAA!
Stella is MIM's precious little nugget and, I have to say, pretty stinkin' cute.  If she didn't bark at my neighbor's every breath, I may have nugget-napped her. In her defense, my neighbors move around A LOT.
Stella was basically my date all week.  She showed me that anyone can be affected by winter's static bad
 hair-ness. She also was there to help advise me in my makeup choices.  So necessary, I highly recommend her.
self-styled

So what's new in man-land?
Well, after my quasi break-through date with SoCal last week, I was feeling pretty positive about things.
How dumb of me.
After our great time weds night, I had started to feel more like he was just busy/overwhelmed and maybe not as serial dating as I had suspected. 
We texted on Thursday night, as we were both at the Interpol show @ Radio City Music Hall.  I also happen to know that he was with his cousin, not a date at that show.  We didn't end up meeting up and, we wouldn't have anyway since Lindsey decided to drink Redbull+Vodka [ie fizzy urine-crack] and had to make it an early night. UGH. VIM.
But it was cool that we had that shared experience and texted about it.
Wanna know what was NOT cool? [aside from redbullvodkabarf]-- Radio City Music Hall holds about 1,000 people or so. And who do I see within SECONDS of walking in? My ex-boyfriend, Champ. I think the universe is playing a cruel joke on me.  First off, I think I see him at least once a day, due to Champ has a very common look (tall, dark hair, beard, hipster-y) and I get a few Champ fake-outs a day.  So seeing the real thing was definitely a surprise.  Even worse, I really wished I could just go up and say hi to him. But, I refrained for fear of ruining his night and/or causing him to break into tears in front of friends.  Seriously- I have no idea where his head's at, but I'm pretty sure it still HATES my ass.
Anyway, back to SoCal.
I mentioned in my last post that I wrote him a cute, funny note on FB on Friday. And, he NEVER. WROTE. BACK.  
I find this odd because he always responds.  And, people have also not always received FB messages from me before. But still-- I'm perplexed.
This also sucked because I had another one of those awesome Supperclub parties to attend Monday night and I had bought a ticket for a date.  I had originally asked The Streak, but he had politely declined for fear his upcoming, wild weekend would cause him to bail last minute and he didn't want to do that to me. [again].
So, SoCal was obvi next in line.  But now with the no FB response...F*CK.
I decided to wait a few days and shoot a casual "oh, hey just got this last minute invite..." kind of text to him late sunday afternoon.  He wrote me back: "Aww, sounds so fun but I already have plans. Shit."
[really? other people have plans on a MONDAY night?]
two seconds later I got:
"White Rabbits @ Bowery on Saturday?"
Okay, so he's inviting me to see another show with him. Which I love. But it's all just so confusing!
So I wrote back "No worries about dinner. Saturday sounds awesome. I'm in."
And...
No confirmation text back! Like "ok cool." or "Great see you then."  And, of course, I haven't heard from him since.  So, as much as I'd like to confirm those plans and if they do, in fact, still exist, I am going to follow BFWB's advice and just wait it out.  [actually, his advice was "F*ck 'em. Do something else."] But I'm choosing my own interpretation.  
I'm getting really bored and sick of this whole thing.  I mean who goes on like 6-7 dates with someone over a TWO MONTH PERIOD???  
I'm seriously considering changing his name to Mr. Sporadical.


TJ's Supperclub on monday, however was an AMAZING time and I had the most gorgeous date:
El Menu
my good friend, Sexy Sue. We had a blast and the food was even more ridic than last time. Here's some pics of our Flamenco-themed evening, complete with Flamenco music and dancing!
Best. Ceviche. Of. Life.
And let me explain the star course (in my opinion). My picture is not doing it any justice.  Let's just say it was something to the effect of a fois gras ravioli in butternut squash puree with a perfectly crisp, honeyed piece of BACON on top and some pepitas. 
Are. You. Kidding???!!  
It rocked my world so hard I had to check where I was when I was done.
my new lover.




So, as you can see, I haven't been at home sitting on my couch.  But still, I'm feeling uninspired and unfulfilled. I guess I'm finally at the point where all this crazy dating stuff is less of an adventure (or MISadventure), and more of a "what's the point these guys are weird and boring and bad kissers and I'm going to die old and alone with cats. and, I hate cats."
Sigh.


I do have a second date tonight with a Match guy I met for drinks last week. Blaaah. Don't I sound SO excited???  I have to say, I think he is a seriously GOOD GUY. Perhaps this is why I am not that into it? But he's taking me on an actual dinner date tonight, and I think I need to keep an open mind about it. Plus, this guy actually told me how he really loves and respects "strong, independent women." Wow. Is he a unicorn or a dragon? 
So, we'll see.  I don't even have a name for him yet because he's just so...normal. [seeming].


I will keep you posted. Meanwhile, stay classy out there. Or don't. I won't judge.
xo

Joyce Meyers: Loving Yourself

This video kind of goes along with the identity message from yesterday. In this clip, Joyce Meyers speaks about how important it is to love yourself. God created every part of you and he loves you fully and completely just as you are. Check out Psalms 139 and he will prove it!



I hope you all enjoyed her message. I always have a better understanding of the truth after I listen to her. Joyce actually has a show that comes on the Inspirational channel (channel 33 in Frederick and Altus.) "Enjoying Everyday Life" is the name of her program, I think it kinda just comes on at random times throughout the day, I always find her when I'm flipping channels, so you might check her out!

Also going along with this subject is a wonderful song by J.J. Heller. This song is talking about how God loves us for who we are. He doesn't care about who we used to be or the decisions we made in the past. He loves us. He wants to show his love to us through our every move too--we just have to be open to letting him guide us and use us.
A lot of times we look for our parents, friends, boyfriends, etc. to show us the true meaning of love. But the truth is true love can only come from God. (1 John 4:8) God is love.



So think about these 2 videos today. What did you learn? What can you change about your attitude or lifestyle? How can you make yourself more open to receiving God's love?

Thursday, February 24, 2011

What is Identity?

I apologize for this being so long, but I do feel like it is an important subject and I pray that you will be blessed by reading this.

What is Identity?

A friend of mine brought up this question last night. This is something I really felt like I knew the answer too. I know my identity, and I often teach about how important it is. I observe other people and their identity (or lack of) very often. I knew this was a huge, major thing that can

make or break a person, it’s what most people spend their teenage years looking for. Some people even spend their whole lives searching for it. But w
hen asked what it was, I was speechless. After being purposed with a couple of scenarios I was even more baffled. At this point I knew I had to figure out my opinion on this pertinent issue.

So today on my walk home from school I had a lot of deep thoughts go through my mind. I didn’t touch my phone or speak the entire way home, because God and I were wrestling through these thoughts trying to get to the bottom of this. About the time I walked in my apartment complex, I had resolved the issue and cleared it in my mind, so without further explanation, here is my opinion.

First, I shall explain what it isn’t.

In our society I have no question as to why we are so confused about who we are and what are identity is. The main source of this problem is the phrase “I am…” I think this simple little phrase probably messes with our mental psyche more than we can imagine.

Identity is not something you do.

In high school I was always known as “The Cheerleader.” People didn’t identify me as this simply because I participated in the sport, the other girls on my squad weren’t as categorized as this. We all participated in other activities, so to be categorized as one thing either meant that you were the best at that thing, or that you only did that thing. For me cheerleading was more than just showing up at a game to look cute. For me cheerleading was my passion. I loved to cheer. I loved encouraging the teams, challenging myself physically, I loved practicing, stretching

jumping, tumbling, yelling, organizing events, and asking people to have fun and get crazy with me. My personality is loud, excited, and animated all the time; so this was the perfect sport for me. Not only did I love the sport, but I was good at it. People constantly came up to me after games and pep rallies to tell me that I was the best cheerleader at our school. However I assume this was because I was so passionate about it. Anyhow the point of all this is that I subconsciously formed an identity around being a cheerleader. When I would meet people and they would ask me to tell them about myself I’d say, “I am a cheerleader.” I am a cheerleader? Wait. “I am.” So you’re saying that cheerleading is who you are? You are cheerleading. That can’t be right. What happens when you’re not a cheerleader anymore?

Aha! That I found out. When I went to junior college I quickly figured out that I didn’t know myself as well as I thought I had. When I would meet people and try to make friends, it was almost devastating that they didn’t know I used to be a cheerleader. It was almost like I was offended they didn’t know my past. Eventually I had to figure out that “cheerleader” was not my identity. As much as I had thought it in high school, there was no tattoo across my head declaring me to be “The Cheerleader.”

Now I attend a huge university. When people meet you they ask 2 things right off the bat: 1. What is your name? and 2. What is your major? Then the other person responds, “Hi, I’m Shelby, and I’m a business major.” I am Shelby and I am a business major. Ugh. Again with the “I am” crap. What does that mean!? You are a business major, or majoring in business is something you do? There is a huge difference between doing and being. Let that sink in for a minute.

Identity is not your name or what people call you.

Back to the first question people ask you, “What’s your name?” Your response: “I am Shelby.” So does this mean your name identifies you? If you are Shelby, then what would happen if you lost your name? Say for some instance you have to change your entire name, from Shelby Derr (these are made up names btw) to Jennifer Clifton. Way different. Think about how you would feel if you had to switch names and no one knew you. Would you be lost? If Shelby Derr was where you found your identity, then yes. Obviously these things don’t identify us either.

Identity is not your talents and/or hobbies.

Okay one last example then I’ll make my point I promise. What about people who say “I’m smart.”? People who have been told their whole life: “You’re smart.” You are smart. Smart is who you are.

I think “smart” is a feature of you, but I don’t think it is your identity. No one can be smart. I know brilliant people who know tons of stuff, yet they don’t know everything. It’s impossible. The world genius of crop growing probably isn’t going to have the slightest clue what is in season on the fashion runways in Paris this fall. What is more, what if they were to lose their ability to memorize facts, they would no longer be smart. Therefore that would make them nothing. So yet again, “smart” is where some people find an identity, but not their true identity.


So what is identity?!

From what I have gathered and experienced, I feel like your identity is knowing your purpose for being on earth, and putting your heart and soul into that purpose. Some people feel like they find this in sports, some in their careers, and others in being a mom or a student. Perhaps your identity is based on your reputation or what others perceive you as. A lot of girls/women find their identity in whoever they are dating at the time. “I’m Michael’s girlfriend.” We (blank.) People put their heart and soul into all sorts of silly things like this. The sad part is when something changes and they are left with nothing. No sense of being or knowing why they live. I think it is because these aren’t identities. These are a form of an identity. This is an identity, not your identity. Your identity is true and unchanging. It is made solely for you to fulfill.

In that last part of the previous paragraph I said unchanging. Go back and think about all the previous examples. What contradicts them? Change. When I went to college things changed. I was no longer a cheerleader. If you go through the secret service and have to change your name, you are no longer going to be Shelby Derr. If you have a concussion and lose your memory retention, things will change and you will no longer be known as “smart.” So where do we find this lasting, unchanging identity?!!?

Only three things last forever and never change: God, God’s word, and the Souls of men.

That’s it, nothing else. (If you can name something else that NEVER changes let me know because I can’t.) But this is fact, that God, God’s word, and the Souls of men are the only lasting things we have.

Earlier I said my definition of identity was knowing your purpose for being on earth, and putting your heart and soul into that purpose. If your purpose in life is to run like the wind and make touchdowns once a week, then have at it. If you feel like your life isn’t worth living unless you’re parenting a kid, go for it. Put your heart and soul into these things and hope for the best, I’ll even wish you good luck. But then come back and tell me how you feel when something changes. When you lose your child, your job, your talents, abilities, intelligence, come back and let me know how strongly you feel about your sense of identity then.

All of these things are fine and wonderful, except for the fact that you are putting your whole self into something that won’t last. It’s temporary, useless.

When I was asked about identity, I immediately responded that I knew one thing, “It is found in Christ and Christ alone.” I knew this to be true, but I didn’t know how to back it up. Now I do! Three things never fail. I found my identity when I started investing my heart and

soul into everlasting promises. Everything I put myself into has eternal benefits, it will never change or fail me. God calls us to love him with all of our heart, our soul, our mind and our strength, and to secondly love our neighbor as ourself. (Matthew 22:37-40) How do we grow deeper in love with God, we read the bible. How do we learn to love others better, we read the bible. These things last forever!

I thought about every scenario of change. What if I lost my name, what if I lost my career that I’m passionate about, my chances of a husband, what if ______. The true answer I came to find was that it wouldn’t matter in the end. I know my purpose is to make disciples and to show people the love of God by worshiping him through my every move. Regardless of any circumstances, that’s what I will be doing and that is what I find satisfying. If I lose all of my memories and friends, I will still know why I was made and what my mission in life is.



So what’s your identity? Where do you find your identity as a person?

Is it going to last? Will that ever change?

What would happen if you started investing your heart, soul, and purpose in something that did last forever?


Thank you to my friend who took the time to challenge my opinion.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Lecrae preaches the truth!!

So you want some good dating advice? Need a great song that won't ruin your thought life? Check this video out by Lecrae. I have always loved Lecrae because he raps truth, but today I found this video and just fell in love with this song. This is the best advice for women I've ever heard. He doesn't sugar-coat anything. He speaks the trurth the way a girl needs to hear it. One of my favorite lines is "Don't follow your feelings just follow the Word."
Watch the video and think about the words as you hear them.

"Wait" by Lecrae:



P.S. I am declaring this week "Video Week." Hope you enjoy! :)

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Flesh vs. Spirit!!

Good vs. Evil

I'm into videos this week for some reason lol but here is a GREAT song my friend showed me. You will really like it if you like country music! But get passed the beat and you will see that the lyrics are talking about spiritual warfare. Doing what you want to do vs. doing what God wants you to do.


Ephesians 6:12 says, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."


Gal 5:24 "Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires."


And Paul puts it the BEST in Romans 8:15-20

"For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate.

But if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, confessing that the Law is good.

So now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me.

For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not.

For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want.

But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me.



Can you identify with the spiritual struggle? It's all around us. We know what is right but are tempted by the devil and fall into sin. We have to learn to stand up against this and pray it off! Quote scripture, run, pray, whatever you have to do to defeat the devil.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Advice from Dr. Myles Munroe :)

Okay so this one is even better than the T.D. Jakes one! Ya'll gotta hear this. Dr. Myles Munroe tells us what to look for in a man. Tells us what a REAL man looks like!! Good stuff ya'll.



If you attended the bible study, a lot of this goes back to making a list of standards and stickin' to em! He has some great ideas to add to your list too though...I might add a few myself :)

T.D. Jakes Speaks to the Ladies:

This is a video I found by T.D. Jakes. If you haven't heard of T.D. Jakes, he is a wonderfully annointed preacher that my friend got me hooked on. He always opens my eyes to new insights, and also keeps my attention. In this video he is speaking about the differences between men and women, and how women hold on to things so much longer.


:) Feel free to comment!

Sunday, February 20, 2011

More on Searching

I just realized that my past few posts have been about searching (Sooner Secrets, Jamie's Post entitled "Stop Searching," and the post I am about to make.)
You should know that I did not plan this out, and I don't believe it is coincidence that it keeps popping up. I think God has laid this subject on my heart for a reason. So listen up, this could be God's way of trying to tell you something. :)
Last night my friends and I went out dancing! I LOVE to dance, so I always have fun. :) Although, it is important
that you know me nor my friends drink, smoke, aim to go
home with a guy, or even let guys dance with us. We go to have fun and to dance with each other (but not ON each other.) We usually cause an uproar for being sober, because most people can't understand the concept of having fun while sober.

Anyhow, so towards the very end of the night I sat down for a couple songs and just watched everyone else. While I was observing these people in this dark, smoky, hormone-enraged young people area, I heard God speak very clearly to me about something.
We are all looking for something. Searching. Wanting. Striving.


"How does that become clear at a nightclub?"
Well, for one thing I am always amazed at the girls. Girls show up to clubs wearing little more than a tank top and shunderwear, and as if that didn't cause enough attention, they also bend over and dance provocatively with each other in front of guys to get there attention. THEN when guys come up behind them they go all out poppin and grindin and giratin' tryin to keep this guys attention, not even understanding what is going through the guys head.

As I watch the girls I know what it's like to want attention that badly. I understand wanting a
guy, but being that desperate is NOT okay. Do you realize that grinding on a guy like that causes his thoughts to go wild and yes he usually becomes sexually stimulated, and girls (usually without knowing) continue on from there, causing the guy to "ejaculate" in his pants. (I'm trying my hardest to keep it pg-13, but true.) Seriously, it is sad to know that girls are that desperate for guys attention. That is one step above prostitution. You're letting the guy use you for what he wants, and the only thing you get in return is some bad looks from girls across the room and satisfaction from watching this guy's friends drool.

I also think it's crazy how people get all dressed up, pay to get into these places, and yet they still cant dance or have fun until they have at least a few drinks in them.

And the guys stand around like vultures, waiting for the girls to get a little tipsy so they will bend over and give them a show. If their lucky they might even get to take her home for the night!

The point of this isn't to point out people's sins or cut them down. My point in describing all this is that we are all searching for something more. We must be wanting more out of life or we wouldn't go through so much trouble just to get some temporary satisfaction, a.k.a booty in this case. And it doesn't always come in this form. Some people get overly-wrapped up in hobbies, Facebook, drama, etc. For most girls though I see it being boys. Girls are always looking for Mr. Right, or Mr. Right Now. They want that attention, even if it ha
s to be negative sometimes. The thing is, none of this stuff fulfills you..

"SO WHAT ARE WE LOOKING FOR??"
Obviously we all have a hole in us we are trying to fill. The world says keep that sucker filled with sex, alcohol, and whatever else you wanna do. I know +20 billion people out there who can tell you they've tried this formula and the truth is it doesn't work. I can even attest to that.

"So how do we fill this gut-wrenching ache at the bottom of our soul that just keeps coming back?"
God. You may have never heard that before, or you may
have heard it so many times you are disgusted. Either way, hear me out. God, the one who created you--wants to have an open and intimate relationship with you. He wants to fill your life to the point of overflowing (Ephesians 3:19.) He wants to give you a life so exciting and meaningful that you don't have to search anymore, (John 10:10) A life free of living under others judgment. A life free of guilt, anger and sin.

"So why doesn't he just give me that?!"
  1. God is a perfect gentlemen. He doesn't force himself on anyone. He has offered you the gift, now it is your choice as to accept it or not. (Romans 6:23, Romans 10:13, Romans 10:9-10) We were given the gift of free will. We get to choose whether we want to walk with God or not.
  2. We have to seek him. Jeremiah 29:13 "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

"But I've heard people try it and their lives still suck."
  1. It is not a half-hearted deal, this is a commitment. If you want to see God drastically change your life you have to surrender yours to him. (Luke 9:23, Matthew 22:37) Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight."
  2. You have to believe...at least a little bit. Psalm 9:10, Psalm 37:3-6
  3. You have to obey him. If you don't do what he asks it shows God that you don't trust him or value his instruction. Job 36:11-12, James 1:22, 2 John 1:6
  4. Don't give up. It will undoubtedly be hard. In fact, you are promised persecution: John 15:18-20, 2 Corinthians 4:8-11, 2 Timothy 3:12. But hold on, because if you do you will be blessed, both here on earth and eternally. You will see the fulfillment and true satisfaction that comes from knowing and walking with God. (Hebrews 3:14, Philippians 3:14, Philippians 4:1, Philippians 4:19)