Saturday, March 5, 2011

Jamie's Post

A few weeks ago my good friend Jamie guest-posted a post called "Stop Searching." Because she shares a heart with me in helping girls grow closer to God in their relationships, I asked her to write again, this time she is talking about finding THE right man.

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"Just because he is a man of God does not mean he is your man of God!"
I have been contemplating this thought for about two weeks now. It makes sense… right?? “that just because he is a man of God does not mean he is your man of god!” Lets start with the first part, “He is a man of God,” ok! So what does that mean? I hear so many people throwing this around like its just another saying… think about it a man of GOD! I have heard it describe all different kinds of guys. I guess like most things it depends on where you are in your walk and the revelations concerning guys that the Lord has given you! I think it means that it is SO evident where a guy’s heart is! I think that the thing that distinguishes a man of God from the man on the street has a lot more to do with their heart then the way they act.

I heard today that in the 18th century the term “gentlemen” was used to describe a well-rounded man… SO basically a gentlemen could be a complete idiot and treat you like crap just so long as he looked and acted a certain way! I feel like

sometimes as girls in the church we see a “gentlemen” by how cute he is, what sport he plays, how many other girls want him, etc. In my opinion a man of God is much deeper then how cute he is or even, dare I say, that he raises his hands during worship… It’s his heart. A man of God seeks the Lord SOLELY for the Lord’s glory not his own… not so that he can get a girls attention or look super spiritual… I guess what I am getting at is a man of God is humble about his pursuit of the Lord but bold in his beliefs! (Now this is my opinion and there is SO much more that goes into it then just what I have said.)

Now the second part is the tougher part… “…doesn’t mean he is YOUR man of God”. This part is SO much tougher! I know from experience that sometimes it is hard to accept that just because there is a guy who is a man of God and shows you attention does not mean that he is who the Lord intends you to be with. I feel like this is something you have to really think about… and by no means get angry with the Lord over!

I remember when I was in High School I liked this guy (he wasn’t a man of God) and I specifically remember the Lord telling me “NO!” when I asked him if I should date him… needless to say I dated him… I learned from my disobedience…which is why I think in a small way I am SO passionate about talking to girls about this. I know that even though I have been single my ENTIRE life except for a month, the Lord has an amazing guy for me!

I was talking to my sister today on the phone and she made a fantastic point that as girls we shouldn’t be searching for the man for us because the LORD ALREADY HAS HIM PICKED OUT! That blows my mind that the Lord has already picked out the man that I am supposed to be with! I know that the Lord is faithful and that though I might want an immediate fix to my relational desires does not mean that right now the Lord has someone for me… but he does have someone for me eventually! Until I feel peace in my heart and I feel like a guy and I could glorify the Lord more by being together then apart I want to be faithful to my heart and to the Lord and wait patiently for the guy that HE has for me. Why should we be looking for one guy instead of waiting for “THE ONE” guy!

I think that it is very important to understand that you can have guy friends… actually I highly encourage it, if you approach it in the right way. Meaning that you go into it with the thought that this guy is my brother in Christ and that I want to get to know him and encourage him, as I would a brother. NOT “oh my goodness he is such a great guy, he is cute, smart, loves Jesus…. Maybe we will fall in love and have one of those fairytales like a walk to remember…” well you get the idea! Now you know that I am a real girl!!! that’s how I thought of guys in high school!!! Needless to say I think that guy friends provide great incites into life. They can give you a different look on many circumstances that you may not be able to get from fellow girls! I think that like most things pertaining to guys we, as daughters of God, must be very careful about where we place our hearts! If we allow them to be drawn out too far then we are putting ourselves in potential danger of getting hurt or not allowing God to have all of our hearts! One of my favorite sayings pertaining to dating is…

“A woman’s heart must be so lost in the Lord
that a man must pursue the Lord to find her!”

I love this quote because I believe that if we indulge our hearts in the Lord and not in earthly things such as dating, boys, sex, etc. we are saying that a man must automatically be seeking the Lord in order to find our heart! Which really narrows down the pool of potential bachelors!!!!

I have found this to be SO true… even as I am writing this the Lord is revealing so much to me in the aspect of leaving my heart in the Lord’s hands and having faith that in his time he will provide the right guy for me! I know that if you girls seek the Lord and his heart I doubt you will leave his presence dry! I have found that the more I lay my heart before the Lord the more tangible his love is to me!

I really want to challenge you girls to think about the statement I made and formulate your own ideas about it! I really think that the more we indulge ourselves in the Lord the more we will be blessed with his tangible love, patience, and peace. I know that the Lord has a great plan for each of you and that you are SO special in His eyes!


“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” Ecclesiastes 3:11

Jamie