“Father, my heart is fragile and delicate and easily broken. I have tried to find one who will cherish me, whithout Your view. My heart has been broken and my emotions bruised. I ask You to take and guard my heart. I will choose not to entertain thoughts and emotions of love which cause me to give my heart away too readily. I will come quickly to You when I start feeling like I am in love. Please hold the key to my heart and emotions until a day I can give it to the man You have prepared for me.”
This prayer comes from a woman whose story is in the book “Lady in Waiting.” I share this with you today because I think this woman has the right view on dating. She has recognized that her heart is weak and fragile.
We too should know this—look at how quickly we attach ourselves to guys, how many texts from a guy does it take to make your heart beat fast when you receive one? How often do you catch yourself daydreaming about a guy? And on the other side, how bad does it hurt when you get rejected, how often do guys break your heart?
The answer to these questions will quickly show you how fragile your heart is. Dating is a game of giving pieces of your heart away and never getting them back. The more you date and become attached to people, the more of your heart you give away.
That is why this woman, and many others (including myself) have figured out the best way to save your whole heart for the man of your dreams is to wait. How do you wait? You give your whole entire heart to God and everything that goes with it. Tell God he can have it completely. He is the only one who really knows who your husband will ultimately be anyways, so why not wait for his discrection to give your heart out?
Giving God control of your heart is not easy though, it requires much trust, patience, and discipline. Notice in the prayer she said she would quickly come to God whenever she felt feelings for a guy. She says this because she knows the heart is easily mislead (Proverbs 16:2.) By constantly checking emotions and feelings with God’s will she is keeping God in control and allowing him to protect her heart.
Collossians 3:1-3 "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God."
What does this look like in real life? Well, first you need to have a long talk with God, sharing with him this commitment and allowing him to fully take over your heart.
Then, the next time you start to get feelings for a guy, before you can entertain the thought or text your best friend, you immediately go to God and ask him if this is someone he wants you to be with.
Check your list of standards, does this guy seem like he might even come close? (The excuse: “I don’t know him yet” does not count here. If you noticed who the guy was you have obviously noticed some of his behavior or speech. It is not hard to tell right off the bat what a person’s heart is.
I do not have the gift of discernment yet I can tell you very easily if someone is living with God as the center of their life or not.) Next, pray that God’s will would be done and not yours, and mean it! Allow God to be in control of the situation—don’t Facebook stalk the guy, don’t “accidently” get his number from a friend—just stop. Relax, wait. Let God handle what you have already asked him to handle.
After you have brought everything under God’s control, then you have to focus your thoughts on God or else we all know they will be focused on this guy. So pick a verse to memorize or a prayer to pray, anything that can remind you to bounce your thoughts upward. I know all these steps may seem hard and overwhelming, but God has a special person designed for each and every one of you and he doesn’t want you to give your heart away until he shows you the perfect guy he has for you in his perfect time.
So give your heart to God first, and trust Him to give it away to your husband in his time. Try it and see what happens. J
Proverbs 4:23 “Above ALL else guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”