Monday, April 11, 2011

True Love Doesn't Just Wait...

"True love doesn't just wait...it plans."

This is a quote taken from Joshua Harris' Boy Meets Girl. The theme in this chapter talks about how to plan for the best night of your life: your wedding night. In all reality, you don't just say you're going to remain sexually pure until marriage and expect it to happen. The devil is smarter than that and our hormones are trickier than that. When put in the right situation any vow will fail.
So how do you keep your purity if you really do want to
save it for your husband? You must plan out the details! You don't just go on a date with your boyfriend one night and randomly decide to have sex that instant, it is built up
tension. Chances are you two have probably been holding hands for a while, kissing a couple weeks or so, and maybe even other things that led you a little farther than you wanted to be physically. If you both decided to go that far, how do you keep the line drawn at no intercourse? Honestly, it's going to be very hard, if not impossible.

As Christians, we are called to a higher standard. You should know by now that God has called us to be PURE. 1 Thessalonians 4:8 says we should AVOID sexual immorality. Not tempt it, not play with it and try it out, but AVOID it all together completely. Similarly, 1 Corinthians 6:18 says FLEE from sexual immorality--that means run as fast as you can in the other direct
ion!

So think about the following situations, which ones are following God's Avoid & Flee policy and which ones are following the world's tempt & try strategy?

  • Hanging out alone with your significant other in your bedroom.
  • Side hugs only
  • Hanging out at the mall with lots of friends
  • Make-out sessions..
  • Having a mentor regularly check up on your relationship with your man
  • Sitting alone in a parked car
  • Talking on the phone late at night
Some of these sound extreme, some of them make per
fect sense, but you should stop and think about how one thing leads to another. Even if you haven't had the chance to be in that type of situation yet, we all know you watch movies and the way sex progresses in the movies is the exact same way it progresses in real life. Your sitting in the car just having a nice chat, when the next thing you know...well, you know how the story goes.

The point is, you can never be too careful! The more you deny yourselves now, the more pleasure and enjoyment you will get to have on your wedding day! If you try all the crazy stuff now you will have fun, but you will also suffer long-term consequences afterwards. Stuff they don't tell you about in the movies or in the heat of the moment. Here are just a few examples of real women I have talked too:
  • Of course, the obvious- STDS. not fun at all.
  • pregnancy
  • abortion-talk about a heartbreaking story.
  • Regret- this one's the killer.
  • Shame- And this one trumps them all. How are you supposed to go into a marriage knowing you can't even show yourself faithful before? (Don't worry, I will cover this issue soon.)
On top of these issues, there is also the horrible effect that sex has on your relationship. After sex couples are more likely to break up. Trust issues start to take shape, and the relationship tends to become mostly physical, throwing all the talking and really getting to know you stuff out the window.

Take it from someone who has heard all the stories and cried with all the friends. It's not worth it. Plan ahead and write out a list of boundaries for you and your boyfriend, or if your single, write it out for your next relationship. You know what tempts you, what causes your mind to wander and hormones to surge, nip sin in the bud and take yourself out of the dangerous situations. 1 Corinthians 6:18-FLEE FROM IT GIRL!!


Plan it out. Tomorrow I will give you some more ideas on boundaries.