2 days ago I was reminded again why my heart feels so strongly about sharing the importance of waiting to you all. Over the course of the past few years I have watched one of my closest and dearest friends slip from grace and turn to boyfriends as her since of happiness and security. Although she only dated 2 guys, staying with the latter for almost a year, the pain and struggles she went through because of it was horrifying.
Now, I should explain that this was a very nice young man who treated her with the utmost respect. They crossed no boundaries sexually and did not become attached at the hip like other dysfunctional couples. In fact, to most outsiders their relationship was fine. However, from a Christian and biblical point of view, her relationship with this man was a cancer slowly eating away the joy that Jesus brought into her life.
So what was it that caused her to become miserable on the inside? Was he unfaithful? Rude? Gay? Nope. He wasn't leading her spiritually.
Now, my eyes tear up just thinking about it, but that's because I know the pain that comes with dating or marrying guys that don't take the lead. However, in case you don't know, let me explain a little further.
This girl, (her name is Julie) has always had a beautiful heart full of kindness and mercy. She loves to laugh and giggle and share Jesus stories with all of our friends. In fact, she's made a huge impact on her friends and family through her faith in Christ. I have watched Julie grow up stronger throughout her high school years and have loved hearing her stories as I went on to college.
Unfortunately, one day I noticed Julie had shied off from talking to me as much. Curious, I soon found out that she had a new boyfriend who I knew from school, named Josh. As soon as I saw her relationship status on Facebook my stomach sickened. Not because he is a horrible person, not because I am anti-dating, and not from jealousy at all. My heart ached because I knew this guy was going to suck the life out of her little by little. He had been to church once or twice, and definitely did not have the Acts 4:20 life that Julie had.
Throughout her senior year I watched her drift farther away from both me and God, talking to her about the situation a few times, but I knew deep down God was the only one who could speak to her in this situation. And so I did what I do best, I began to pray.
Over Christmas break I came home from college and that was when I did the actual Divine Dating bible study. One night after studying, Julie brought up her boyfriend situation. She knew Josh wasn't right for her. She knew deep down that things between them would never work out, however a few weeks later and they were just as smitten as ever. So again, I prayed.
Fast forward to May when I moved home for the Summer. Julie and I talked about the situation again, this time I was starting to get really heartbroken for her. She told me that God had been telling her the same thing, this man cannot lead you spiritually and it is of no benefit to either of you to stay together. By this point she had noticed her spirituality had slipped, she knew she hadn't been to church as often as she used to go. She also knew that many of our friends were unhappy about her relationship. But being the kindhearted person she is, she delayed. Not realizing that ever second delaying the break up, she was allowing Josh to get closer and closer to her, attaching himself to her heart.