A couple days ago, one of my professors randomly asked, “At what point does a boy stop being a boy and become a man? He of course, was just being facetious, not wanting an actual answer, but the next morning in my quiet time I feel like God showed me the answer.
1 Corinthians 13:11 says, “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.” I always thought this verse was just about growing up and being responsible, but as I studied it yesterday, I realized that the author here is talking about love.
Love is a hard thing to do. It’s unnatural. It only comes from and through God. So for a man to purposely love a woman, it is the bravest thing he will ever do. It’s also the most mature thing he will do, because he is choosing to set aside his desires and encourage and point her toward Christ.
Some of you may be confused right now, let me explain something. Society has taught us that love is 2 weeks of dating someone and feeling giddy when they call. They have also taught us that sex is love and that if you have a strong desire for someone, you must be in love. If love is supposed to be perfect, life-changing, and last forever, why do these things leave us feeling depressed, lonely and confused afterwards?
That’s because the previous mentioned are examples of lust not love. Lust is directed inward. It’s me saying, “This is what I want, and I am going to do whatever it takes to get it.” It’s a man saying, “I want that girl’s body so I will feel better about myself. I need her to make me look good.” Or “I’m lonely tonight; maybe I’ll call up ____ so I can be comforted right now.” Lust thinks short term, (I want it now, I need you baby, call me now, I can’t be alone.) Lust is what you do for physical satisfaction right now. It’s easy, it’s natural, it’s satisfying the sinful nature just like we have all done since the day we were born. A baby wants attention, so it cries till it gets some. If a woman wants someone to hold her, she’ll flirt till she finds someone. Again, lust focuses on me and what I want. It’s inward.
So if everything we ever thought about love is actually lust, then what is love?
That lesson will be following shortly…
If you’re in a relationship right now, do you see lust rather than love? Is your relationship easy because it seems “natural” to want to be with him? Could that be because you are satisfying the desires of lust rather than love?
If you struggle with being single do you recognize your desire for a relationship being more based on lust than love? Do you easily fall in “desire” for men? Is this so you can feed your flesh rather than your spirit (lust not love)?