Tuesday, October 25, 2011

My plea to the guys...

As I sit here praying for the male friends and family in my life my hearts absolutely breaks.  Not just for them, but for the women in their life.  They don't realize that what they do causes years of pain and hurt like nothing else.
Guys: When you date a young woman, you are responsible for her heart.

Because I have many male friends, I know they don't understand this, but I pray oh so hard that they would at least try to understand.  There is no "dating for fun" when it comes to dating women.  What may just be a time filler for you, is oh so much more to her, even if she doesn't say it or show it.

You see, men battle with lust at the same intensity women battle giving their heart away.  Guys say lust is the hardest battle because it's all around them, always tempting them--immodest clothes, sex on tv, porn, and anything else the devil can use.

Women on the other hand, are engaging in just as big of a battle, it's just not as well known yet.  The Genesis 3:16 curse says that women's desire will be for her husband, and Satan of course has turned it into an all out war.  Women are just as surrounded with this desire as men are with lust.  Romance movies, love songs, Facebook statuses, and even other couples.

When you date a girl, she is undoubtedly already thinking about marriage in the back of her head.

I know this is really hard for guys to understand, but I try to explain it in a real way.  Girls can back me up on this.  Okay, let's say you see a cute girl across the room.  She catches your attention, so you smile at her and lock eye contact for a few seconds.  That may have been all you wanted to do.  You may or may not have had any intent of even talking to her, but that's not what went on in her mind.

She's standing there gabbing with her friends about Stacy's new boyfriend and how perfect they are for each other, when suddenly she catches your stare.  As you lock eyes for 3 heart-pounding seconds, her breath increases, her pupils dialate, and a picture flashes in her mind, a picture of you and her holding hands in public together.  Innocent enough right?

Wrong.  As she explains to her friends what just happened, they make the situation worse.  Do you think he likes you?  What if he asks you out?  Do you know what kind of job he has?  All these questions spin through her head as she begins to put you together.  When she goes home that night she tries to reassure herself that it was just a glance, nothing happened...yet.  But then her mind begins to reel as she pictures all the fun times you'll have together, she pictures the hang out spot you two will share, the song you play at your wedding, what color the dress will be, how many months you'll be engaged...and on and on and on.  The madness never stops.  It's a crazy cycle that girls have to train themselves for years to get out of.  

This is where conterfeit bonding, or emotional attachment comes in.  In this scenario, you can see that this young girl has already given you a piece of her heart, and she knows absolutely nothing about you.  I can't even explain how much worse this gets as you begin dating her.

So please, don't date a girl unless you have a strong interest in marrying her someday.

Paul tells us in Romans 14:21 that it is better to not do something if it causes your brother to stumble.  In other words, if dating, texting, or "talking" causes a young woman's thoughts to be consumed with you, or causes her heart to be put out on the line, the godly thing to do is to lay it down at the foot of the throne.  

Guys: Are you playing with a woman's heart?  Is God showing you the depth of the wounds a woman's heart endures?  Is there something you need to change? What and how?

Girls:  Did you even realize you were wired like this?  If so, how have you been guarding your heart lately?  What do you need to do differently?  Have you been letting Satan control your desire for a husband instead of trusting God?

Expect more on guarding your heart soon...