Thursday, November 3, 2011

Dating story #68, Serial Dating: The Lindsey Story

Hey beautiful ghouls! 


Hope y'all had a spooktacular Halloween!  Have I ever mentioned that I LOVE Halloween?  I love dressing up. Getting to see what life feels like in something out of the ordinary. And I couldn't wait for this year, since I had decided to fulfill a life-long dream. 
That's right.
Wonder Woman.


I've been obsessed ever since my sister, BH, and I were kids in our Underoos.  Ps- look at her adorably chubbo legs!  And my nose scab!


Plus, for years the IT guys have taken to calling me "Wonda' Woman" (not exactly sure why-- boots maybe?).  So I decided it was finally time to reveal my alter-ego to the masses, at mega fun Halloween party last Thursday. Here's some pics!


I found my counterpart!
with one of my "bro" friends
Check the boots, y'all! 

It was a supa' fun night fo sho, but nothing can really compare to what's been going on lately.  So, instead of going into long-ass sagas, like I know you all LOVE, I'm going to give you the bullet-point catch up!

Remember him? Hot, fun summer fling out in Fire Island? Yep, that's the one.
We would exchange occasional texts and I wrote to him when the "HURRICANE OF THE CENTURY" was threatening to slam into Long Beach, NY where I know he lives.  So, being the nice girl I am, I checked in to make sure all was ok.  He had just had major knee surgery and was recuperating from it and seemed very appreciative of my check-in, reciprocating with inquires about how I was doing, etc.  A nice little text-change, if you will.  And that was that till about a month later, he wrote me out of the blue:

HIM:  "hey, what's up. Sorry I haven't called but I've been recovering from knee surgery. Also as you might have imagined, my availability is a little different on the mainland than it is on FI. Hope all is well tho. Didn't mean to be rude."
[Cut to me wondering why the hell he was apologizing for not calling??]
ME: "No worries, I've been super busy. How's the knee?"
[back and forth chit chat about the knee. So I decided to invite him to this cool jazz open bar party at the Top Of the Standard, since he's a fellow music lover.]
HIM: "Hey, it sounds like a blast but I have a girl in my real, non-Fire Island life. Figured u should prob know that. Hence the statement "my availability is a little different on the mainland." That may change ur mind about the invite.  
[WHAAAT! Omg. Who would have EVER figured that out from those words?!]
HIM:  Oh also, if you could, hit me up during work hours.

I'm sorry, by "work hours" did he mean "scumbag hours?"  And, can someone please explain to me how this dipshit thinks he can justify what he did simply because he has a separate "Fire Island" life and "mainland" life???!!  

Seriously, it just never stops being entertaining does it?  
Next!

Scot

Clearly, I did NOT invite Girl's Name to that party at the Standard and figured it may be a good opp to meet some ad industry hotties.  
No dice.
So as I started out the giant windows at some of the most breathtaking views of NYC, absently sipping my free Goose n' soda, my eyes settled on something across the bar.  Something so hot, I wasn't certain it was actually real yet.
Thick, wavy dark hair.
Amazingly handsome, stubbly face.
Ruggedly chic clothing.
And, once he stood up-- TALL. Freaking TALL.  
I literally had to rub my eyes to make sure I was, in fact, seeing this. And then, he and his friend got up and walked toward the back.  I watched for a sec and then thought, "Well, I OBVIOUSLY need to go look at the view from over there!" So I got up and walked over, but alas, no sightings of him.  
One of the weirdos at the party asked if I had checked out the view from the roof and, since I had not, I went up with them out of sheer boredom.  We walked out to the roof and BEHOLD! There he was, taking goofy pics with his 
friend.
I went right in, harassing them on their poses and this worked me perfectly into their conversation. I then discovered this tall, dark and HELL-O you're HOT guy was also Scottish. 
What's with the Green Card Special lately?
And can we also discuss how the accent just made him more HOT, if that's even possible?
So, I sat down and talked with Scot on the roof for at least an hour.  During that time, we came to find out we WORK IN THE SAME OFFICE BUILDING.
Hold. The. Phone.
There is NO way this dude could work in my building within my agency, and I'd never seen him. There's no humanly possible way I could MISS him!  So we exchanged numbers with grand plans of meeting up for lunch, etc the following week.
The bar then shooed everyone out as they do at 10p every night so we left. Downstairs, he implied he needed to hang with his friend as he was in town from Paris. I was sad to leave since we were having so much fun, but I understood plus I was starving and needed to eat, so we said goodbye. 
10 whole minutes later, Scot texted me "Hey let me know if you want to hang out after you eat a bite."
Umm...why did we just leave each other?!
I decided not to question it.
I told him to meet me at Mother's Ruin in 30 mins. And, he did.
We had a blast, he was great to talk to and after a little bit he even asked me, in his charmingly adorable accent, "Can I kiss you?"  Ummm...yes please NOW!
Yum!
I was loving it all. But of course, it was nearing 1a on a weeknight and I decided to be responsible [for a change] and go home.  He was leaving town the next day for the weekend but we talked about meeting up the following week.
And then?
Nothing.
Radio Silence.
NOTHING!!!!

I even asked my security guard at work (who I love to death!) what the deal was. If this guy was like a dragon or the Tooth Fairy or some shit, but apparently he really DOES work in the building.   
Eventually, I let it go.  Until last week.  When he texted me.
One month later.
At 1:41am.

Really, dude?  No, like REALLY really?  

What did it say, you ask?  
"Whassup stranger?"

Oh you wanna know whassup, Scot? I'd LOVE to tell you, but I promised my mother I'd stop using that kind of language.

MORON!

Next!


Roc may be one of the nicest guys I have ever met. Ever.  
Genuinely caring. Smart. Successful. Incredibly hard working in finance and technology.
Good dresser. Smells great. Always asks about ME, how I'm doing, recalling funny stories about my bosses. 
We dated consistently for almost 6 weeks.  
He never let me pay.
We talked or texted at least once every day.
It was perfect.
On paper.
In reality, as my ever-wise security guard said, "Dude just don't make yo water boil, huh?"
Nope. He sure didn't.
But it seemed so awful to have to end it.  Luckily, he was going on a 2 week trip to Russia and Prague so I'd have a little break to mull it over, see if I missed him and stuff.
Of course, I got distracted by life, other guys, NYC! I barely thought of him.
And, crazy enough, he must've felt the same way.
Haven't heard from him since he left!  
It feels strange but at the same time, we avoided an annoying and awky convo. So...cool! 

Next!

[to be continued....!]