Monday, January 9, 2012

Wasted



I sleep on an awesome mattress.  I open my big, full-text, study Bible.  I send text messages on my new iphone.  I plug my new headphones into my imac.  I scroll through my Facebook newsfeed.  I drink sweet tea, as much as I want.  I go to McAlister's. 


 I buy books at Mardel.  I wear my Nike Pro Combat clothes and my NIKEiD tennis shoes to run around my fancy university.  I wear my fuzzy NorthFace jackets, and whichever pair of Ugg boots I choose to put on my feet, to go to Starbucks and buy a $5 cup of coffee. 


 Entire families live on less than $2 a week.  I spend $20+ a day on snacks.  I take a group of girls to Passion Berry for $6 icecreams, before we are satisfied enough to sit in the warmth and security of the Schooner Room to open God's word.

We get to have Bible study in public, under light bulbs, in nice, big buildings, with a full copy of God's precious word.  Others save a year's salary to purchase one page, before they risk their lives to share it with other Christians, to simply hold it as a possession.  


I live in a community where we idolize, IDOLIZE simple, sinful men, because they play a certain game.  You get quiet; you stare at them; you act weird.  Why?  You ask them to write their name on a piece of paper, which you appear to treasure more than every word of God's heart.  


We decline committing scripture to memory, but we remember the score to a football game from years ago.  Our walls should be plastered in God's word, yet I remember speechlessly walking into a room of one titled 'Minister' and seeing thousands of dollars spent on framed jerseys that twenty-something-year-old college kids wrote on with marker.

People are starving to death.  Natural disasters are killing nations.  Diseases leave babies without mommas and daddies every day.  Women are enslaved, beaten, left, because men pursue lust.  Families are destroyed daily, because we refuse to seek the heart of Jesus.  Boys are angry.  Girls feel worthless.

I do nothing for Jesus.  Yet, while I was still a sinner, He did EVERYTHING for me.  I don't understand.  If I were truly in love with the Prince of my eternity, I would be seeing Him add to our number daily.  My life would be scary.  I would face persecution.  Americans, still in the nurseries of our churches drinking spiritual milk, would kick me out of their smooth, pretty ministry routines.  I would lose everything, yet I would gain more than I have ever imagined. 


 Seemingly, I would have nothing to please me, yet I would rest in more satisfaction than I've ever known.  I should be on the firing lines.  I should risk it all.  I should do it now.

I want to die to Kaity.  I want to die to my needs.  I want to die to my desires.  What am I doing?  Billions of people are entering a Christ-less eternity, and I'm listening to David Platt and drinking hot chocolate.  I'm wasting time.  I've wasted a lot of time.


"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."  2 Corinthians 4:18


--Kaity