Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Staying Pure in College: A Guest Post


Today's guest post is contributed by Angelita Williams, who writes on the topics of online courses. Besides blogging, she loves to travel, listen music and spending time with pets. She welcomes your comments at her email Id: angelita.williams7@gmail.com.


Dating in College: How I Kept My Virginity 
Growing up my parents always stressed the importance of maintaining one's virginity until marriage. It was sinful to do otherwise. That's not to say that Christians who choose have sexual relationships out of wedlock won't get into the pearly gates of heaven. I'm just reinitiating why, since I hit puberty, I planned to keep my virginity intact. Not to mention I was terrified of pregnancy and STDS.

In high school, even with all of these new "racing hormones," I managed to successfully keep my promise to myself and God. But I was never really "tested," if you will—I didn’t have a boyfriend, so the possibility of getting intimate with someone wasn't even really a concern. But when I attended my local state college, the circumstances changed. I was miles away, living unsupervised. I attended parties frequently where alcohol was always accessible; and I started finally dating— something that is extremely hard to do in the "hookup" college culture. While my college years made it a lot harder to keep my promise, I'm proud to say that I earned my diploma with my virginity still in place. To learn how I did this, continue reading below.

1. Have the Talk up Front
I was a late bloomer. I really didn’t grow into my features until the summer right before my first semester of college, so I was thoroughly surprised by all of the new attention I got from men on campus. Since I had only been on a few dates in the past, I accepted most of the invitations I received. I figured that if a man was brave enough to approach me, the least I could do was agree to a slice of pizza. But I learned early on that most college aged men have ulterior motives Simply put, most just wanted my "cookie." But I had a method for weeding out the toads from the princes. I'd simply talk about my faith and my choice to wait until marriage early on in the relationship, it usually came up no later than the second date. 

There were three types of men that I encountered after having a conversation like this: 1) The Runner—He'll say 'that's cool' but then never call back again (good you don't want to date a person like that anyway). 2) The Pretender—He'll act like he respects your decision  to wait but really just sees it as a "challenge" (he'll convince you to give it up late he thinks) and 3) The Understander—he authentically respects your decision and still wants to continue seeing you. To get a better look at each type of guy and learn how to deal with them, we move on to the next tip—

2. Don’t Put Yourself in "Tempting" Situations
Now it's hard to be able to tell The Pretender from The Understander initially. After all, The Pretender will pretty much make it seem like everything is cool—but he'll only keep up the act for a while. If you stand your ground The Pretender will become frustrated and lose interest. Problem solved. The Understander, on the other hand, may respect your decision, but he's still human. The two of you may be doing some heavy petting and then get "caught up in the moment." The easiest way to prevent anything from "happening" is to learn how to prevent yourself from being in "tempting" situations that could lead to sex. This means stopping when things get too hot and heavy, not sleeping in the same bed (especially with your clothes off or in skimpy lingerie—if wearing "granny panties" will stop you from stripping, so be it), standing your ground when he tries to say oral sex is not the same as real sex, or drinking alcohol around your date since it clouds judgment. Alcohol is also one of the leading causes for one night stands; how tragic would it be to lose your virginity to some frat guy you just met? Know your limits.

3. Keep Yourself Active
Last but not least, you don't ever want to be "consumed" with the new guy you're dating.  Make sure to have your own life and do your own thing. Stay active. If the two of you are attached to the hip and you seclude yourself from the rest of your friends, it makes it feel like you're a married couple and may convince you that "it's time." But don't let this feeling fool you: you're not actually married. Doing your own thing from time to time and keeping yourself busy is a beautiful thing and will help you keep your promise—both academically and religiously.

Keeping your virginity can be a challenge, but if it's something that is truly important to you, it can be done. 

-----------

What do you think about Angelita's post?  Can you relate with her struggles and victories?  Do you have your own advice you'd like to share?  Comment below or email me at divinedating.org@gmail.com.  

Monday, May 28, 2012

And I Think to Myself....What a Wonderful World

*

As spinsters, it is good to try new things, meet new people, and explore new lands. Spread your wings girls. Spread 'em big and far....

Allow me to share my top five most recent adventures/joys/wanttocursethesky experiences that have come from living thousands of acres from home-sweet-home. 

1. Buying a weekly metro pass for $32.00 on a Saturday and having it sucked up by the blimey machine on Sunday. Wow...really got my money's worth out of that one.

2. Refusing to put sunscreen on my legs because I thought to myself, "Gert, maybe your skin will tan this time around. Greater miracles have occurred you know." Three hours later---lobster legs. 

3. Receiving a sea shell as a gift from a lad I met for two seconds who was visiting from Hawaii. Don't worry, I have his card so that I can "meet up with him if I ever make it to the Islands." (Maybe we should start making business cards and pass them out right and left.)

4. Getting my daily exercise from the broken escalators that are probably three miles tall. 

5. Dreaming of being a hip-hop/rap star when I go to sleep because I hear it booming through my paper-thin windows every night of the week. 

What a wonderful time to be alive!

Wishing I could send you all a postcard,

Gert





Loving Through Gifts-pt. 2


Today's post is from a wonderful young woman that you may have heard of before.  Last September I ran a series of posts telling her story of dating, finding Christ, and breaking barriers.  You can find that series here. (When you get to the end of that post click "newer post" to go through the entire series.)

As you can imagine, Alisson has came a very long way since September.  I have had the joy of watching her grow and blossom, and because of this I asked her to share with us insight on her love language..GIFTS!  Check it out below.


"Anyone close to me can tell what my love language is. It’s not necessarily a love that someone has to search for. My love language is blatantly obvious. I love people by giving gifts! Often love languages can almost be genetic by being passed down by the ones you love or look up to. I received mine from my nana who shares the same love by giving gifts as well.

I discovered my love language probably about six months ago. I never knew there was a test one could take to discover how you love others. However, discovering it and containing it are not the same at all. You can still obtain a gift or love language without realizing what it is.

 I soon discovered my love language after I made Jesus Lord over my life. As for those around me, once I discovered my love language it didn’t come to shock them. I love people!! I always have. But once I started loving people as Jesus does, my love language grew exponentially.

I love to give presents!! I love to surprise people and show them I care about them. Due to the fact that I pay close attention to details, I plan in advance. For most people I know what I’m getting them months in the future. The person on the receiving side has to know without a shadow of doubt that I care about them. I often buy things for people for no reason at all. 

Some of my friends get frustrated, but I’m thinking about them and it’s how I show them my love. I would much rather be on the giving end than the receiving end however. I’ve been blessed beyond words and I just want to share it with anyone around me. I love the exhilarating feeling of putting a smile on others faces. It’s often a way that I encourage people.

Taking it further…
As I just stated, my love language comes from giving gifts. However, I've come to realize giving comes in different forms depending on the person. 

The explanation of the word giving encompasses many of the other love languages as well. As I mentioned before, giving can be used as encouragement!

I’ve soon discovered when loving someone, for it to mean anything to them it has to be done in their love language. Giving gifts might be my strong suit, but ultimately that might be not what they need. 

When loving someone, it needs to be done in their love language to grasp the full effect. That’s when people really know you care, because it’s not about the one showing the love anymore. The focus switches to the one you’re trying to love.

Giving can also mean giving time up and making yourself available to the ones that need you. If you don’t search deeper beyond fights people might not understand how you’re trying to love them. They might start to think your just trying to love them by swiping a card and then.


What are your thoughts on this language? 
 Do you see some of this in yourself, or a friend?
Perhaps this is your main language for receiving love...

Friday, May 25, 2012

Loving Through Gifts-pt.1

Do you love to share gifts with people?  Perhaps you feel the need to buy things for people when you are out and about throughout your day.  Well, today's post is from a brilliant young woman who loves through gifts, and loves well.  I have a big heart for her, and I think you will too after hearing her heart for giving.  Here is Katherine's story.




"My love language would definitely be... gifts! I love giving people presents, and picking things out for people. Gifts can let people know that you’re thinking about them, and pay attention to them. Every time I get someone a present for a holiday or birthday, I ALWAYS end up giving it to them like, 2 weeks early because I’m so excited for them to have it. 


I love getting gifts as well, but I am so shy I hate opening them in front of people! If I am in a room by myself though, and there’s a present just waiting for me, I’m all over it!


 My second result was words of affirmation. I love hearing people tell me they love me. One new thing I have been trying to do often is telling people how much I appreciate them – and I’m really enjoying that! You never know what some simple words can do to change a person’s day. Some people’s love languages is definitely NOT words though, and feel uncomfortable when people shower them with praise, so I try not to go overboard. 


When I told my mom about how I was writing this post for Haley, she told me something that I find so cool. She had 5 kids – 2 boys, then 3 girls. I’m the youngest of them. She read the love languages book when she had her first couple kids. She said that each of her 5 kids had each of the 5 love languages – how cool is that? We are all so different. 


She said she discovered what we each were from the time we were little. It started when she miscarried after her fourth child. She said she was in pain, and her three oldest kids showed her so much love in their own way. 


The oldest was always doing things for her like taking out the trash, and cleaning up messes – hospitality. The next was always saying “I love you, mom. I love you” – words of affirmation. And the third child was always there for her and with her – quality time. The fourth was too young, and I was yet to be born. As we grew though, she figured my sister and I out as well. My fourth sibling was a “clinger”, as my mom put it. She was always hanging on to her leg, and hugging – touch.


 And me, I was always bringing her things. I would go pick weeds from the yard and bring some to her every fay, because I thought they were pretty flowers. She said if I found a puppy, I would force my mom to take it, because I was trying to show her my love by giving her things. 


Our love languages all continue to shine through in the same ways today. God did an amazing thing with my family, and I am so beyond unbelievably blessed to have such loving brothers, sisters, and in-laws, too. I think I could continue for so long about this, but I think I reached my word limit. (; Thank you Haley for allowing me to write this – it really forced me to think about it all more closely and I am so glad!"


How cool it is to think that God can give each of us different ways of loving each other.
I'm sure Katherine's mom has learned so much about being versatile in giving and receiving love throughout her years of family raising.  This is an interesting concept in itself...learning to give and receive for others benefits.  Thanks Katherine!

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Why Girls Are Crazy





*










Fun Fact:
This week one of our readers email-interviewed us. She asked us things like why we started the blog, about our worst dates, and what will happen when we finally find our King. Check it out here.
End of Fun Fact.
----------------------------------------
The focus of this blog generally pokes fun at boys but now the tables have turned. It is time to dissect the female mind.

We are bundles of ticking emotional time bombs.

We salute every male who is brave enough to try and tame the unruly female heart.

Why Girls are Ridiculous:

1. We are unpredictable.

Everything was fine between us yesterday? Well guess what. Today it’s not.

Because…you didn’t send me a “goodnight text” and now I’m all thinking you are not as into this as I am and you were kind of paying attention to other girls at the drive-in and then I saw a picture of my old crush on my phone and am replaying all those memories and why the heck did he never ask me out  but he was kind of a punk and why can’t you just call me instead of texting me because I don’t have all day to sit here and stress out about how committed you are to this relationship. Oh and did I mention I have cramps?

But of course we don’t tell them any of this. 
We just say, “I’m fine.” 

2. We jump to conclusions.

Admit it. The second you start liking a guy you think about the “m” word. Admit it.

3. We are unrealistic.

Sorry, but Mr. Darcy is fiction. No guy in his right mind is going to say, “You have bewitched me body and soul and I lov-I lov-I love you.”

4. We set ridiculous ultimatums.

Ø  “If we haven’t gone on a date by Friday I’m done. I’m never going to call him again."

Ø  Your phone buzzes: “This had better be him if he knows what’s good for him.”

Ø  “If he doesn’t ask me ‘what’s wrong’ when we get in the car then he doesn’t even care about me.”


Meanwhile...
           the boy sits happily on his end thinking all is well.

 YIKES. 
Can you imagine dating us?

Getting really good at being unpredictable, jumpy, unrealistic, and giving ultimatums,

Char and Gertrude 

Loving Through Time

Today's post is from one of my dearest friends.  Perhaps this wonderful woman and I have such a close friendship because we share the same primary love langugage.  Jamie and I can easily sit and talk for four hours at a time, without even noticing the clock!  That's what kind of lover she is. 

You may recognize her name and writing style from some of her former guest posts: Stop Searching, Jamie's Post, and Just Because He is a Man of God... Here is her spill on quality time!

------------------------------------------------


"HI! My name is Jamie Lynn and I am a friend of Haley Hoover. I am blessed by her friendship all the time! This past week she talked to me about my love languages and why I felt like these were so important in my life. 


My main love language is Quality time! I love it. Quality Time is time truly spent one on one. That means TV off, radio off, all tasks on standby. This kind of time spent face-to-face talking just brings so much joy to me. It’s not a selfish thing because I get joy talking about other people equally if not more than I do talking about myself. It just shows someone loves me if they really set aside time to spend with me… really spend with me. 


I’m not a fan of watching a movie where you don’t say anything but you are sitting right next to each other! I love sitting and having lunch with people. I’m not a fan of surface conversation and love to spend hours having deep talks with people. There is nothing that makes me more refreshed then a few hours with my close friends just talking about God! I don’t know what it is about it but it just makes me so happy to spend time with people. 

I believe that this is the ultimate way that I receive love. I know someone cares about me when they text me an encouraging word, I know someone loves me when they set aside time to hang out with me. I love when people make plans with me to just sit and chill. To just talk… not have to go anywhere… just talk. I love it. I love when someone puts time aside to dig into my heart and find out what really makes me, me! 


Though I am single, knowing my love language is extremely helpful when it comes to friendships and knowing what it is that makes me really enjoy people. I believe quality time is one of the more overlooked love languages. I think that this is just because people can see words of affirmation, service, physical touch, and gifts. People can’t necessarily define or show how to appropriately love a quality time lover!



 I know this first hand watching my sister and my brother-in-law interact. My sister is a quality time love receiver, while my brother-in-law is a service love receiver. It has been influential to me to see how they interact and have learned over the years how to love each other well through their love languages.


It has been extremely beneficial to me to see and learn how to love people who have different love languages. I feel it is extremely important and beneficial that people learn their love language and try to learn their friends and families love languages to know how to better love the people that are special to them." 

God Bless Y’all,
Jamie Lynn 



----------------------------------------


Do you think this might be your main love language?
 I can tell I have this primary language because I feel very disrespected when people use their cell phones while eating lunch with me.  Perhaps you can relate?

Monday, May 21, 2012

Intro: The Five Love Languages

In 1992 an author named Gary Chapman published a book called "The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate."  Today the book has sold over 6 million copies in English and it's theories have influenced millions of Christians, marriages, and sermons.

Now the book is published in many different forms, "The Five Love Languages of Children", "The Five Love Languages of Teenagers", and "The Five Love Languages: A Secret to Love that Lasts" and a few others.

Several years ago I read "The Five Love Languages: Singles Edition."  I can honestly say that this book helped me make far advances in my spiritual walk with the Lord.  After reading the book I was far more able to communicate love to those around me, as well as strengthen my ability to receive love in different forms from these people.

I have learned to categorize my Christian friends by their love languages so that I can love them each in their own way, as well as encourage them and support them through those specific languages.  I have also enjoyed watching God shape me into a more well-rounded giver and receiver of each language.  As odd as it may sound, it isn't always easy receiving love in your secondary language.

The author, Gary Chapman, has a doctorate in philosophy from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary and is now the senior associate pastor at Calvary Baptist Church in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.  He has been married to his wife for over 45 years and draws much experience and wisdom through their relationship.

Chapman has also written many top selling books such as "Love is a Verb: Stories of What Happens When Love Comes Alive", "The Marriage You've Always Wanted", and "Things I wish I'd Known Before we Got Married."  I have not read any of these, but I have personally heard wonderful things about all of them.

As you may have probably guessed, the wisdom from this book and its theory is powerful for people of all relationship statuses.  Singles can read this and begin practicing individual love languages on everyone presently in their lives, and married couples will be encouraged by figuring out their mate's main languages and loving them specifically through that.  Although the original idea was to use the theory to promote healthy marriages, the idea is now so wide spread that most small groups or bible study classes begin with the discovery of individuals main love languages.  All God-fearing people-lovers can gain wisdom and riches from this idea.

Because I want to encourage you to read the book, I am not going to go into great detail about what the book teaches or how it helps you apply the languages, but I am going to introduce you to the five love languages and then present five guest posts from friends who primarily have each of those languages.

The Five Love Languages are:
1) Words of Affirmation
2) Gifts
3) Acts of Service
4) Quality Time
5) Physical Touch


Stay tuned for guest posts from people who specialize in these languages! 

Saturday, May 19, 2012

{CLOSED} Spinster Giveaway!

Giveaway closed. Winner has been contacted. Thank you!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Whoa. Hold the phone. Spinster Giveaway?! I didn’t even know there was such a thing!

There wasn’t.

Until today.

But not just any old giveaway.

A Spinster necklace giveaway.



This puppy was purchased at a little boutique on Valentines Day. No joke. The powerfully carved ‘S’ will let the whole world know you belong to the sisterHOOD of SpinsterHOOD. It will bring you luck.

And to own the very first Spinster Giveaway prize? Wow. You’ll be able to sell that sucker for like $14.92 on Ebay when we’re rich and famous.


When: 5/19/12 10:00 am -
            5/26/12 10:00 pm MST.

Choose one (or all) of the following to enter:

1) Become a follower of the Spinsters blog: http://aspinstersguidetodating.blogspot.com/

2) Share the giveaway on Facebook, Tumblr, and/or your own blog!

3)   Tweet about this giveaway (be sure to include your twitter account name so we can find you)

Leave a comment at the bottom telling us who you are and what kind of entry you chose to do! 
(Please leave a separate comment for each entry so they can all be counted!)


BOOM! That’s three ways to win this stellar necklace.

Again, please be sure and tell us about each entry in a separate comment so you have as many entries as you deserve:) 

The lucky winner will be chosen at random, announced, and contacted shortly after the giveaway concludes. Good Luck everyone!! 


Spreading the Spinster lov’in,
Gert and Char


P.S. If there is no way to contact you directly from your Google profile then please leave your email address in your comment so we can let you know when you win! Thanks!

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Attack of the Hipster


 *
First of all, this blog has turned us into monsters. 

We no longer live normal lives. We view our dates as "case-studies" to be examined later under the blog, scribble down conversations between girls like mad, and relish when a boy does something ridiculous because we just look at each other and say, "blog it." 


You are welcome for sacrificing our personal lives for the sake of strengthening the HOOD. 

Anyways...

Below is a conversation we recorded recently at a girls night. Mind you, our storyteller U.K. did incredibly funny voices when re-capping her awkward encounter. We will try and do it justice.

The characters:

U.K: A confident, savvy Spinster who has been around the block.
Boy: A radical hipster who has lost sight of reality in his quest to be unique, vintage and going against the current.

{Boy comes and sits down next to U.K. exchanges very little small talk before getting down to the nitty-gritty.}

Boy: What is your passion?

U.K: What?

Boy: Your passion. What is it?

U.K: Um, I don't know...What's your passion?

Boy:People. People are my passion. I love observing people. You can tell a lot about people by just watching them. In fact, I've been observing you all night."

U.K: K, what do you know about me?

{Boy is unable to say anything specific about her so he changes the subject}

Boy: Do you like music?

U.K: Yeah. Do you like music?

Boy: My life is music. Do you know...

{Goes on to name about 8 hipster indie-bands in a row without taking a breath}

U.K: Nope. Don't know any of those. 

{Boy not phased that he is not making a connection but rather proud of himself for knowing so many hipster bands}

U.K: So what else do you do?

Boy: What do you mean?

U.K: Do you go to school?

Boy: No.

U.K: Do you have a job?

Boy: No.

U.K: What do you do then?!

Boy: I LISTEN TO MUSIC!

{Boy slightly concerned that he had not made it apparent enough that his life=indie music. Boy goes back to how he is people-saavy.}

Boy: You know, when I'm around different people I just change who I am. I kind of morph into who I think they would like me to be.

U.K: So you have no personality?

Boy: Are you okay with that?

{Whoa. Girl gett’in sassy and hipster still not understanding the irony.)

Later events include him having a slight panic attack when someone was taking his picture because he is going through a "non-picture taking" phase and fail after fail of picking up cues that U.K. wasn't his hipster bride. Finally, he stood up to leave but before walking away carefully massaged the cushion of the couch where he had been sitting.

Boy: I just can't stand to see my bum mark. You know like when you're sitting on grass and your bum leaves a mark? I just think, "Oh my gosh. I'm so fat."


The End.

Gertrude and Charlotte


Friday, May 11, 2012

Spinsters Take Flight


I went to visit my sisters in the Midwest for a week and it was a treat. 
  • Back in the day Char: “The Midwest is boring and flat. Only cows live there.”
  • Present day Char: “The Midwest is a hip-hopp’in hipster joint.”


Here are some things I learned while on my adventure:

1. Aebleskivers are a beautiful gift to the taste buds.


They are basically Danish pancake balls that you can fill with anything you want: fresh fruit, peanut butter, cinnamon sugar... I am totally buying one of these pans and making this recipe. Nutella filled aebleskiver? Please.

2. Dancing with my 2 year old nephew to Ingrid’s Soldier is the best boy-cure imaginable.
3. Stealing my sister’s brown oxfords was a good idea.

 4. When you hang out with toddlers for a week you start eating like one.
















5. If you have razor burn, don’t put a frozen bag of mixed berries under your armpits to help you sleep. You will wake up as a big smoothie.

True Story.

XoXXoOXxOXooXx

Charlotte

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

My Hair Identity Crisis

(Written a few months ago...)


"...but if a woman has long hair, is it her glory?"
1 Corinthians 11:15

Some of you may find this humorous (men,) but ladies, I think the majority of you can relate to this post.  For the past 2 weeks...wait, scratch that...more like the last month, I have been trying to decide what to do with my hair.  My last color job was back in December, and so my roots are nearly to my ears now.

Some days I would wake up and just marvel at my natural-colored roots peaking in.  I loved that color!  How long it had been since I had seen a full head of that tint.  Perhaps I should take the time to grow out all of my artificial coloring.  I mean, the half and half hair color is in style, not to mention hipsters.
Do you think God gets mad at me for changing the color he gave me?
How will people categorize me differently?
Am I really a "hipster-earthy" type of person?


The next morning was the complete opposite.  I love being blonde, it's my personality!  I've always been a fun, outgoing type of person, and blonde just always seemed to fit.  Plus, in my neck of the woods it's all about glam, high-hair, and jewelry (see Country Girl post) that type of style did not work well with muddied roots and an unkempt mane.
I think colored hair gives me a more professional look, and since I am entering the professional world, I need to keep a nice outward appearance.
I've always been known as a glamour girl--hair is what I do.
Then again, am I really an outwardly focused person?  I spend 20 minutes in front of the mirror max.


Ahhh this decision was beginning to drive me crazy!  Who knew that something as simple as a color job would take up so much of my free thinking time.  I found myself judging my hair at work, at school, and at church.  What hairstyle will encapsulate all of who I am?  How do I want the world to perceive me?

One night in the middle of this early-life crisis, I was explaining to one of my close guy friends how complicated this decision was.  Profoundly and yet obliviously, he responded, "So this is like an identity issue for you girls, huh?"

Wow.  I never thought of it like that before.  He went on to explain that one of the most insecure women he knows, dyes her hair different colors all the time.  Perhaps he was on to something!

Later that night I really started thinking about his observation.  My first hair coloring was when I was 13--a very insecure time in my life.  I wanted just a few small blonde highlights to fit in better with the girls at school.

9th and 10th grade came with all sorts of pressures and adjustments--including my hair-dentity.  First it was blonde, then red, then dark brown, blue, pink, and green.  I would have loved to go pitch black, but thankfully my mother wouldn't allow it.

After my 10th grade year, God grabbed hold of my heart an worked a drastic life change within me.  One of the first things I was convicted about was my fashion choices, and with that came the mane.  I dyed my hair all over a rich, bold red to signify the new creation I was transforming into.  I was returning to school a different person, and I wanted my hair to reflect that.

Red hair is rare, unique, bold.  That's exactly who God was calling me to be that year.  So for an entire year (which is forever in hair years,) I kept my hair that same bold red color, until Junior prom.  I had to dye my hair to compliment the dress of course!

Senior year is a place of really figuring out where you want to go in life.  Who do you want to be after high school?  Oddly enough, my hair reflected this too.  I returned to a more natural hair color for most of the year, adding only a few highlights for Senior prom.

Two weeks before beginning college, I sliced off ten inches of my infamously long hair.  I was showing the world, and my junior college, that I meant business.  Life was mine for the taking, and that's what I wanted people to understand.

Now my hair is long with hardly any layers--something I attribute to this "city style" I'm surrounded by.  I still don't know what color I want to be, in terms of hair, but I have come to terms with the fact that it reflects my identity for each season of life.

At the same time, I am completely relieved to know that my identity is not based solely on the color of dye I decide to use.  As I explained in an earlier post What is Identity, God is the only place where lasting identity is found.  People, sports, and hair change, but God doesn't.  He is eternal and forever, therefore my identity in him is unwavering, no matter what color of hair I decide to have.

Upon this realization, I prayed.  I asked God to show me the insecurities that were seeping out through my hair.  Why am I not fully trusting you with every part of me?  At this spiritual age and time in my life, I wouldn't think hair-dentity would be a problem, but it is.  "Search me Oh, God and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts."  (Psalm 139:23)  I'm yours for the taking father, show me my trust issues.

What do you think?  Am I basing my identity in hair instead of Christ?
Where do you put your identity?
Do you think God wants us to always stay the way he naturally designed us?
What does the Bible have to say about this issue?

Monday, May 7, 2012

Creepy or Cute


The funny thing about dating is that two different boys can do the same thing and merit such opposite reactions from the females. “Oh, cute, right?” or “Woof. Creepy!”

For example:
                                                                        
Boy brings flowers to your work.

Cute: You have had a crush on him for two years. 
                                                                                 
Creepy: This boy got your number last night and somehow found out where you work.

                                                                                              
He says you were in his dream last night. 

Cute: You guys are on the brink of dating

Creepy: The only interaction you have had with this boy is catching him staring at you in bio lab.

                                                                                                        
He invites you on a road trip with the family. 

Cute: This shows commitment.

Creepy: You’ve overheard his mom saying, “invite her, this will seal the deal.”


Taking lots of pictures when out together.

Cute: He wants to remember how bonita you looked at the sushi bar.

Creepy: Really, 30 pics have just been uploaded to Facebook without you even knowing they were taken?


Wishing that our cute outweighed the creepy,

Char and Gert

Saturday, May 5, 2012

How to Spot a Playa




An email we received recently:

Hello ladies!

I think you're fantastic and your blog has rescued me from my deepest darkest spinster moods! I have a question-- when is it appropriate for a foxy female to ask a dashing gentleman for his number? How can one tell if that same guy is just a flirt in general-- or even...*gulp*... if he's a player?

Sincerely,
Your hopelessly confused spinster friend

Our response:

Dear Spinster Friend,

In general, it is best to wait for the guy to ask for your number. But that doesn’t mean you can’t flirtatiously help him out…
·      “We should hang out again!”
·      “Call me next time you go to the University men’s soccer game!”
·      “I never see you anymore! Can we change that?”
·      “Can you send me that picture?”

All of these statements should be followed by him saying “Well let me get your number!” You can’t give it to him any easier than that. And if he doesn’t get it, the caveman doesn’t deserve you.

However, if you are hanging out with a bunch of people and the moment is right you can casually ask for it. That’s how groups of guys start hanging out with girls-with one brave member of the group getting the number of a member of the other group. You will then become the ultimate bridge between the groups.

           
How to Spot a Playa:
Player: noun.  Male who wishes to be an all-star in the dating arena. He aspires to be the defender, mid-fielder, and forward all at the same time. His phone is full of numbers and he uses several a day. He may have a morning, afternoon, and evening girlfriend.


Is it possible to tame a player? Perhaps. Nothing is impossible ladies.

Trying to snag a player is high risk, high reward.


Typical player moves:

  •  He uses terms of endearment with lots of girls (baby gurl)
  • He calls girls late at night to hang out.
  •  Gives routine compliments to lots of girls         (Hey-look’in good!)
  •  Like Tuesday Tennis boy he has a go-to activity to do with girls (hot-tubbing, Disney movie night, long boarding and slurpiees…)
  • Ask around! All females have a secret underground network in which they dish information on other guys. 
    • For example: We were waiting in line at a concert the other night with a fellow Spinster and she was telling us about this guy she was trying to figure out. Through the craziest “small world” connection Char had known that he was a bad egg and gave the Spinster the dish on the fella.



Happy Playa Hunting!

Gert and Char