Dear Future Married Self,
Now that you’ve joined the class of married people, don’t forget the following:
1. At bridal showers chant a quiet mantra in your head. “I am not the bride. I am not the bride.” This way you won’t start answering the real bride's questions of “Where was your first kiss?” “When did he first say I love you?” Because when you do start answering along with the bride you look…foolish.
2. Don’t get a ginormous ring. Simple=elegant. Plus you won’t look like you’re wearing bling.
3. Call your single girlfriends out of the blue. They like that. A lot.
4. Hug your husband while waiting for the bus. You will look really cute and fearless.
5. When you’re at lunch with the girls try and dust away the cobwebs of your dating memories and remember that dating is not always sunshine and creamsicles. It is complicated, sticky, and generally a hot mess. Refrain from comments like, “Oh so you’re just kind of messing around, not committing?” and “When I was dating my husband….” Those kinds of comments drive Spinsters CAH-ra-zee.
6. Treat your husband like gold.
7. Stay classy.
Kick'in it under the mistletoe ,
Gert and Char