Saturday, December 1, 2012

You know all your friends are married when….

 As a Spinster, things are pretty cut and dry. Not a whole lot of gray area (except for anything involving a guy. Then your life becomes a mosaic of grays).

Take your married friends for example. You were perfect wingmen together. You talked with them daily on the phone about the guy they were liking. Then dating. Then getting engaged to. Then marrying.

You threw a shower for them. You caught up at lunch one time since their wedding. Then…SILENCE. This is sad when you don’t see your friends. But it’s ok. You have other friends.

Until that day that you don’t.

One day you wake up and say, “Oh my gosh. I have no more girlfriends”

We may experience many emotions when this gem of reality rests like dew on your mind.

You know all your friends are married when:

You feel a pit in your stomach walking into a party by yourself as you give yourself the ultimate pep talk, “It’s okay. Just look confident. It’s fine. You’ll introduce yourself to new people here. Don’t look at your phone.”

You come prepared to “married friends lunches”. You need to have at least one name of a guy you’re interested in. No saying, “Just dating around.” Also, look super smok’in. No one can feel badly for a sharp looking Spinster.

You are content to watch your 3rd episode of Man vs. Wild this weekend instead of going to hang out.

You feel a sparkle of happiness every time you buy a new Banana Republic blouse knowing that you have expendable cash and your newly married friends? Well…they get to buy extra car insurance.

You scroll through your phone’s contact book 4 times and have the following conversation in your head, “Would it be weird if I called her? I haven’t seen her since high school. But is she married? Oh that would be so weird if I didn’t know that. Ok not her. Maybe this group of guys? Like, I know I don’t want to date any of them but…I don’t know…it’s something to do? No. I’m just gonna call the guy who got my number 2 weeks ago. Is that weird if I call first? Maybe I’ll text him. Yeah. I’ll text him.”      
               …..Then you end up going to Target instead.

Returning our blouses because we realize now we too have car insurance,

Char and Gert