Friday, January 11, 2013

No Name Boy, A Number and Hearing Aids

I had a lot of good options.

Tall ones, short ones, freckled ones, ones with contagious laughs, ones that maybe wouldn’t be jerks….

I was ready. This party was stocked with eligible bachelors.

Oh good! One was walking towards me.

No Name Boy: “Char!”
Me: “Um…hi?”
No Name Boy: “I haven’t seen you in forever! How’ve you been?”

Okay. Quick. How does this guy know my name? Have we had class together? Gone on a date? Were neighbors as children?

Best idea? Fake like I know him. Yeah. That will be good.

Me: “I know! How have you been….friend?”

Oh crap. I don’t know his name! And now I’ve pretended like I know him. Think, think, think!

No Name Boy: “Oh you know…school and work and I’ve joined lots of extra curricular things so that’s keeping me busy”.

After a few minutes of chit chat and deciding I’m not super jazzed about this fellow I try and peace.

Me: “Well…I need to go talk to Kristine but it’s so good to see you!”
NNB: “Well let me get your number so we can hang out again!”

Again? We’ve already hung out? I need to start taking me some memory vitamins.

We exchange digits and then horror of horrors I realize I’m gonna have to type his name into my phone as he is looking over my shoulder. The name I don’t know.

As my little cursor blinks at me on my phone he looks at me and I say all nervously,

 “Oh…how do you spell your name again? I know it’s like way different.”
NNB: “It’s mumble, mumble, mumble.”
Me: “What?”
NNB: “It’s mumble, mumble, mumble.”
Me: (again)” What?”

Seriously, after my memory vitamins I’m going to get hearing aids.
NNB: “It’s Brad. B-R-A-D”.

Oh my! That was too easy of a name! Hurry! Think of something! Cover your lie with another lie!

Me: “No, no. I know your first name. It was your last name that was really tricky and long.”
NNB: “F-O-X. My last name is Fox.”

And that was when he looked at me and realized I had no idea who he was.


Moral of the story ladies: Don’t try and pretend that you know someone’s name. Own up.

Or at least stock up at memory vitamins and hearing aids.

Gold medal in creating uncomfortable situations,