Saturday, April 13, 2013

(Unwelcome) Proposal

So there I was last night.

On a date.

We had walked into the restaurant and I saw an old buddy from high school.

My date and I walked over to him and said hi. I gave him a big hug and we were chatting. Apparently his friends thought I was being a little too friendly with him because they started cat calling, “Hey we have your engagement ring when you’re ready!”

They kept pestering my buddy so he decided to play along and got down on one knee and asked me to marry him.

In front of my date.

 In the middle of the restaurant.

He is a pretty goofy kid so I tried to play it off and laughed and said sure and tried to pull him up so he would stop making a scene in front of my date.

His friends lost their mind.

They started shouting, “SHE SAID YES! SHE SAID YES!”

Cue the entire restaurant looking over at me holding my buddy’s hands (not my date’s hands, mind you) as he is coming up off his knee.

The restaurant starts clapping. I hear a table of girls get excited and whisper, “Oh my gosh! He just proposed!”

I am so embarrassed at this point that I just start laughing. Not a good laughing. Like a, “Oh my gosh this needs to stop” laugh. His unruly crowd of friends start yelling to the workers that we need a free meal because we just got engaged.

I look around and still, the entire restaurant is looking at us. MAKE THEM STOP!

My date was, thankfully, a good sport and was laughing himself. But this got unfunny really fast a long time ago. I try to reign in control again by just trying to catch up with my buddy and asking him what he was doing for school. You know-the classic, generic, impersonal questions.

And that’s when it happened.

His friends started chanting, “KISS HER! KISS HER! KISS HER!”

Now, mind you, these are not junior high boys. Some are much older than me. Just goes to show you age isn’t everything. My buddy is so wound up in the moment that there is a good chance he could kiss me. I start dodging around him trying to escape and I finally sprint away from him, the table of hecklers and my date and go hide at the front of the restaurant.

It was a really good hiding place. The entire restaurant could still see me.

My date moseyed on over as I tried to figure out a way for the floor to swallow me. It didn’t help that people in line were congratulating me. I just said, “Thank you” because let’s be honest, I deserved some congratulations for surviving the night.

No words,