Monday, May 13, 2013

Officially 100 years old

There I was.
Tapping away on my computer at work.
You know, like a grown up.

When I heard the most obnoxious sound.

6 junior high kids come screaming, screaming I tell you, by my window. Junior high students have two volumes. Loud and louder. They try to out do each other and get one another’s attention through screeching.

I looked menacingly at them as they plopped their skinny jeaned selves under the tree directly outside my window. After the screeching died down the kissing began. They couldn’t have been more than 15 years old and they all had significant others who they were snuggling with under this tree.

As I went and shut my window in a huff and sat down muttering uncouth things I realized something.

I am officially 100 years old.

Back in the day I would have seen young kids in love cuddling under a beautiful flowering tree and thought, “Oh! Cuuuuute!” but now I use my walker to go shut the window.

Other reasons why I am at an advanced age:

1)          Things are either way too loud or way to quiet. I can’t hear anything anyone says to me but if some music is playing in the office next to me I think it’s way too loud.
2)         I drive the speed limit or lower and if a hooligan drives past me I honk and keep going my grandma pace.
3)         I think things like, “I never did stuff like that when I was in high school” and “I hate how that kid wasn’t very respectful in the line at the movie.”
4)       I go to bed at 8:00.

At least I haven’t start licking my fingers to get papers apart. That’s when we’ll know I’ve gone past the point of no return.

Wagging my wrinkly finger at kids these days,