Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Second Date Breakdown

While prepping my house for a baby shower for one of my girlfriends…
(For whom I also helped throw a bridal shower. Time flies when you’re….single)
p.s. I thought only ladies on Pinterest looked that cute pregnant. She was such a styl’in mama! Sheesh! I’m on her team.


While prepping I got a text from a fellow Spinster:

Went on a date last night.
He didn’t open my door once.
He asked me if I was hungry.
I said yes.
He didn’t buy me dinner.
He asked me if I wanted ice cream.
I said yes.
He only bought one so we shared.

This made me ponder the tactics needed for a second date. Gert and I have been contemplating this sticky situation. How do you show him you want (or don’t want) another? For guys it’s simple.

How to get a second date for Guys:
They need to copy this text message and paste it to their mirror and say, “I will not make these sad mistakes. I will buy dinner. I will open doors. I will throw my wallet open to buy delicacies for my date.” That will for sure at least keep us Spinsters intrigued.

How to get a second date for Girls: (warning: not as simple as the guys)
1.     Smile lots on the date.
2.     Laugh at his jokes.
3.     Do the elbow touch. If you are unfamiliar with the elbow touch see our earlier post. Don’t go touching people’s elbows willy-nilly. You will get arrested.
4.     On the doorstep pull the classic lines, “We should do this again”, “Call me next time you go_____. I’d love to come!”
5.     Close the door.
6.     Read (or send) your post-date thank you text.
7.     Wait contently for a few days.

Oh my gosh. What do you do now? Do you wait for him to call for the second date? Do you ask him to hang out? Do you plan the second date? Should you tag him in a picture? Should you like his instagram? No, I’ll just wait. Wait! Why did that girl post on this wall!? Did he take her out too? Oh my gosh. He hasn’t called in days. What am I supposed to do? Was that my phone? Oh. No it was just the oven. Okay, so if he hasn’t texted me by 7 I’m going to text him. Ugh. I hate him. Why hasn’t he called me yet? I am never going out with him again. He is being a punk. Why did he act all flirty if he wasn’t even going to take me out again?! Oh. Phew. He texted me.
 I love him.

Dear Second Date. Stop playing so hard to get.